The witches' kingdom - TOG series

Chapter 1 | Manon

It was a strange sensation that I couldn't identify.
I found myself surrounded by people I didn't know but was leading, flying towards a place I didn't know but had to fight to make it a home. Everything had turned around 360 degrees in less than a year, and now I was alone.

I couldn't allow myself to think about it. Every time the memory of that moment came to my mind, I just wanted to vomit. Anger engulfed me that they had decided to sacrifice themselves, without telling me, without including me. The sadness I felt inside was only comparable to the helplessness of not being able to go with them, of them making the decision without consulting me, leaving me behind. I was the leader of the wing, and I was part of them; I wanted to have gone with them.

  The pressure and shame of being the only one left standing were killing me. Honestly, I didn't know how to continue right now. Sometimes I thought about the irony of it all, so many centuries together, and only when the end was so near was I able to react. Guilt. That was the sensation I couldn't identify.

A part of me struggled to believe that I deserved my title as the queen of witches, to bring forth all the strength and fierceness that had been instilled in me to lead these people once again. But I couldn't, I didn't know how.

The battle had been exhausting; I had barely slept in weeks, and I couldn't remember the last meal I had made. During the battle, it had been impossible, but afterwards, when reality hit me, I couldn't even do it. It was only when I landed with Abraxos at the tower to see Dorian that I realized how exhausted I was. I had no strength left; I couldn't go on.

In the past few days since we said goodbye that night at the camp, I had tried to come to terms with the fact that I would never see Dorian again. Not only because of the anger and shame I felt after proposing an alliance between our two peoples, getting married, and him leaving without saying goodbye.

It had already been painful enough to think about his rejection and abandonment, especially after having to confront my own feelings, something I was still trying to accept. But the worst part was that I knew where he was going, I knew what he had to do, and I knew the chances of seeing him again were nonexistent.

I couldn't describe what I felt when, riding Abraxos, I recognized his magic. I couldn't believe it, and the shock that blocked me for several seconds was well worth several arrows in me. I just wanted to fly to where I had located him, to see if it was really him, the last person I had left, the last thing I had left of them. But no, this was war, and he had abandoned me, pressuring me to acknowledge my feelings, to beg him, and he had left when I was most vulnerable.

I grabbed the sword and continued destroying everything in my path, with more anger than ever. I couldn't help but think if he also recognized me in the middle of the battle, riding Abraxos, if he also felt the need to come to me. He didn't.

It was only when everything was over, when the Valg disappeared, and I returned to the fortress that I was able to recognize that the only person I wanted to see at that moment was him.

From the air, as I flew back over the battlefield, all I saw was death, bodies, many bodies, and many wyverns. I couldn't recognize anyone from that height, and I didn't want to. It was all over, and I didn't want to think anymore, but I couldn't help but look into the void where the tower had stood. Where they had entrusted themselves, where everything had ended. Including the matrons, my grandmother, my former life, and my former beliefs. Everything that I was and had been had exploded. I wanted to think it was a new beginning, but I couldn't say what.

  I began to hear them in my head as I flew overhead, "Live Manon," I didn't know what they meant. I didn't deserve to live, I had done horrible things, allowed horrible things. And then I saw it. He was in the tower next to what had apparently been Erawan, and he was looking at me.

When I commanded Abraxos to land, I began to feel it, something I hadn't felt in many years. It climbed up my throat and pressed on my chest, I knew what was going to happen. Making a great effort, I dismounted and stared at him. I couldn't help it, and even though something broke inside me as I looked at him, it came out of me, "Hello Princeling." I had to hold back, not to burst into tears at the very moment I heard his voice respond, "Hello Witchling."

But I couldn't contain myself anymore when he looked up at the sky, searching for them, searching for those who had been his friends, his companions during these months. I threw myself into his arms and started to cry. I couldn't remember ever hugging anyone, and I couldn't remember crying since I was a child, but at that moment, I couldn't do anything else. My body and mind no longer reacted.

I never thought I would lose so much when the war began. Them. Myself.