UNLOVED (Gally x Reader Fanfic)

16

Dear Diary,

It's has been a couple of months since any drama has happened.
I have officially became Gally's wife and the wedding was beautiful. Chuck was my best man, it would've been Minho except he was still healing from his injury.

When I was stabbed in the stomach, I found myself in a really heavy depression. I was pregnant. And I lost it.

When I felt the blood trickle down my legs into a puddle I just knew, I never told anyone, but it feels good to let someone know, even if it is my diary.

My body feels different, I have panic attacks every night, most of them don't wake up Gally, which is good because I don't want him to worry.

I struggle to move in the mornings, knowing that the second I step outside it's going to be the same day by day and it's hurts my heart, I want a change.

Chuck whispers in my ear, "Wanna play chess again? I could teach you the real rules."

I shake my head, sipping my water, "I'm alright. Not in the mood, sorry Chuck."

His brow raises, sitting beside me, "What's wrong? Is it Gally being an asshole husband?"

I grin with a slight chuckle, shaking my head again, "No, he's perfect. I'm just tired, thinking of getting an early night."

He nods hesitantly, between everyone, Chuck is always the first person to know what's upsetting me.

As soon as Chuck walks away, Gally approaches me and perches himself in front of me, holding my hands and rubbing his thumbs against mine.
"I was thinking. For our honeymoon, we could go into the woods together, alone."

My brows furrow, "Alone?"

The truth is that I can barely be alone with Gally from what happened last time. What if he's still being controlled by WCKD? It's terrifying to think about.

His head tilts, pulling away from my hands, "Y/n. It's been over 5 months and we haven't even kissed. What's going on?"

I close my eyes before I look back at him, plastering a smile upon my face, giving him a peck on the lips. He smiles back and kisses my forehead, walking away from me.

My smile fades. Why can't he properly see me? I need help but I can't, it really shows how weak I am.

Dear Diary,

Everyday is like walking on needles. I've never felt pain like this, my eyes are heavy and my body feels like I'm carrying a 50 pound weight of rocks.

When it's bonfire night, I sit by myself in a corner, looking down at my book, praying for this agony to disappear.

I wish life was a fairytale where a tall man falls inlove with a princess, they have the cutest babies and never have to face a single problem in the world. They don't feel guilt or shame or even pain.

Being by myself causes me to have panic attacks but being alone with somebody also makes me have panic attacks, I feel like I'm suffocating in my body.

Night turns cold quickly and everyone was asleep when I came up with a great idea to sneak out to the Maze.

I softly roll myself out of bed, trying not to awake Gally. I grab a backpack, putting a spare shirt and pair of socks in as well as food and water just incase.

Before I walk out of the door, I look at Gally who's restlessly sleeping quietly.
I grab a paper and pen and write a cute letter to him, I put it between the elastic band on my diary and place it on my desk.

I retreat of the door, my mind was blank, I wasn't thinking straight, I grab a torch from the storage and approach the entrance of the Maze.

As I take a deep breath I place my foot inside and immediately start running, I knew where to go, my favorite place and the highest wall there is.

With 15 minutes of climbing I take a breath reaching the top, panting with my body leant over and my hands on my knees.

My eyes avert over to the Glade in the distance, I take in the fresh air and the smell of nature. Sitting with my legs crossed, I place my bag under my head. My legs hung off of the maze wall, I swung them, looking up into the stars, they were so beautiful.

I think back to when I first met Gally, oh what an asshole he was.

I lean up onto my elbows.

He's changed my life and I can't thank him enough for that.

I slowly stand up, looking down at my feet.

Although I've escaped death about 5 times I still come back to him.

My eyes water, looking up back to the Glade.

When my eyes look at him, my heart flutters open and I can't wait to have his babies.

I turn around to the Glade, spreading my hands like wings.

The pure hatred I had for this man but again I keeping loving him even if I felt unloved. I loved him unconditionally.

My eyes close as I lose my balance from the wall. I grin sheepishly. Everything felt moving in slow mo. Even at my last time. I still thought about Gally. And I will forever. Even in heaven.