Raspberries & Cream for Three (Boyxboy)

Chapter 9: Uncertainty.

Keegan's POV.

When Cameron asked me why he was the issue I knew I had to answer honestly. Kaiden had already had a go at me for holding back on him.

I cleared my throat nervously and rubbed the back of my neck. I knew I would have to reveal more than I wanted to and it wouldn't look good on me. Kaiden was insistent on me coming clean about it. He disagreed with my view and was adamant I should give Cameron a chance. Kaiden usually followed my lead, did what I told him. But when he dug his heels in? I often had to give way. I was not always right. As Roald Dahl once wrote, 'Sometimes I was left'. This was one of those occasions and I bloody well knew it.

"We find out at half term if we are going to be staying with our foster parents for good. There is a meeting that week where we will be told if our probationary stay with them has been successful. Our Social Worker will be there. So will the Local Authorities and Children's Commission. Our foster parents have already submitted a report on us each week and will submit their final one at the meeting."

"So how does that make me the issue?" The harshness in Cameron's tone surprised me. The questioning look he gave me made me feel so guilty.

"We don't want to be moved on again. We want to stay here. We like where we are living. John and Margaret are the best foster parents we have ever had. They have been really good to us."

"I get that, but I'm sorry Keegan. I repeat, how does that make me the issue?"

"If John and Margaret find out who your family are they are obliged to tell our social worker. Part of the rules you see. Showing that the company we keep is good and not likely to lead us astray. Your family are known drug dealers and we won't be allowed to associate with you. I can just see us being moved on again because of them."

Cameron looked at me with such a sad expression it hurt me.

"I don't deal in drugs Keegan. Surely you know that, don't you?"

"Yes, but we like this school, and we like you! We don't want to be moved on. We don't want to lie to John or Margaret. We don't want to lose their trust. Once they know your surname we will be toast."

"How long have you known about my family? I've never said anything about drugs."

"Rhys told us ages ago. Soon after you started hanging around with us. He warned us that your family were trouble. He said you used to help your brothers sell stuff at school but had stopped last term. He did say that you're not a bad bloke though, just got bad relatives."

"Did you really mean it when you said yes just now? About me not dealing?

"Yes Cameron. Yes. We've not seen you doing anything, but others won't believe it because of your name. Guilty by association is how they will see you. It's me that's thinking you will screw things up for us, not Kaiden."

Cameron untucked his shirt and lifted it up revealing discolouration to his lower torso. Blues, yellows, blacks, and reds, all in a variety of hues. Some new and some old. I winced.

"This is what I get each time I refuse to help him."

"Your Dad?" I asked as Cameron tucked his shirt away.

"No! Brandon. That arsehole of a brother of mine. Me Dad's inside at the moment. Chelmsford jail, but when he gets out he'll take his belt to me. It won't make any difference. I won't ever help them again. I'd rather die first."

Cameron held my stare and I could see he was wanting us to believe him. It was like it mattered. A simple 'Yes I believe you' wasn't going to be enough.

I stood frozen to the spot knowing what I needed to do, but too scared to actually do it. It would show too much of me. I wasn't used to showing emotion to anyone other than Kaiden.

It was Kaiden that put me to shame. He made the effort and got up by himself and went and hugged him. Not a man hug or anything like that, but a full on, big hug of sympathy.

Kaiden made me feel even worse when he kissed Cameron on the cheek. On hearing him say "I believe you" resulted in Cameron crying. I knew that although I couldn't see his face Kaiden was crying too.

I didn't see it as a weakness in him, you know crying, as I understood why. Depression did that to you. A dark cloud descends and envelopes you. I had seen it in Kaiden often enough. A hug from me would dissipate it sooner enough.

I couldn't bring myself to hug Cameron on his own yet. The best that I could manage was to join in and make a group hug.

I saw Cameron smile. It meant everything. If only I could tell him what I really felt. That's what I was finding hard to do.

I had been keeping him at arm's distance of purpose. I was wanting to be sure we were staying put before getting involved. When I first met him I just wanted to have fun with him. I wanted him as a trick, a casual one off fuck. I wasn't wanting anything serious. Definitely not wanting a relationship. I had thought he was up for it, at first, but getting to know him realised he was not that sort. He was pretty private. A bit like me.

It was his acknowledgement of Kaiden that made me change my plans. How Cameron had spoken to him that first day had me thinking. How he teased him nicely, making Kaiden giggle. It showed a character quality in him that we hadn't come across before. He showed no reaction to us being of mixed race, or of Kaiden's reduced mobility and poor speech. When Kaiden told me how genuinely nice he had been it made me rethink my selfish scheme.

Maybe this boy could be more than just a one night stand? Kaiden really liked him, and he really seemed to like Kaiden. I knew if I got too close now, and we were moved on, it would be painful. I needed to be sure we were staying before I would make a move.

Then it all went pear shaped. John and Margaret wanted to meet him.

Bleeding Kaiden! He had gone and told them about making new friends. Singing Cameron's praises. Not actually singing, but you know what I mean, saying such nice things about him and how patient he was. It was all true, granted, but it got them interested. At some point Kaiden must have told them he was gay too. That's why they invited him to our birthday meal.

Our birthday was on a Thursday, but the meal was to be on the Saturday. I was fine about that. What worried me most was if our foster parents found out he was Cameron Daniels. How would they react? Would they associate him with his drug dealing family? I would've thought so. Everyone seemed to know about them. The only friend Cameron seemed to have was that Eric Dawson bloke.

Was it wise to get emotionally involved with a boy from a family like that?  Okay he was cute, good looking and so my type. But was it worth the aggro?

Kaiden thought so. He told me in no uncertain manner not to be so stupid.

Why couldn't all this have waited until we knew we were staying? Damn it! Why does fucking shit always happen to us?