Raspberries & Cream for Three (Boyxboy)

Chapter 28: Charmed.

Keegan's POV.

Kaiden had been forever urging me to stop dithering and to do something positive to move things with Cameron along but part of my hesitancy was that I needed to know if what I felt for Cameron was indeed love. Kaiden was full of pointers as to how I should do it and with what I should and should not do. The main thing I took from all he was saying was 'Don't try too hard at being romantic' but I knew that was easier said than done. As I said, being romantic doesn't sit easy with me. I had always found that the direct approach had worked perfectly well before but I certainly knew that approach wouldn't work on Cameron, that's for sure.

Cameron was one of those romantic types, with big dreams and just as big expectations. I knew he was already in love with me, but just because he did didn't necessarily mean that he would come across with the goods that easily. From what he had told Kaiden it would take some serious wooing on my part before I even got my hand inside his Calvin's.

Cameron had already told me that I needed to think further ahead than just sex and to discuss more about what we were wanting from each other as he wanted to be in a forever relationship and, unless we were in some kind of agreement to how that was to be, then it wasn't worth pursuing. He told me that he wanted to be in love with me and me with him before any physical activity took place. To be fair I quite liked that about him. It showed that, not only did he respect his own body, but he would be loyal and faithful in any relationship he was in. Just the stability that I now know I needed. It also made me realise just how shallow and sex oriented I had been in the past. The big question was did I love him? Really love him.

Love is such a big word and, in my opinion, grossly misused. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved Kaiden and Kaiden loved me. We anticipated each other's needs. Understood each other's moods. We put each other first without question or any resentment. We rarely argued or fell out and if we did it was never for long and neither of us held a grudge. We always had each other's back but we were identical twins and that makes a huge difference, doesn't it?

I liked Cameron. Liked him a lot but whether or not it was love was something I was still discombobulated about. I knew from the very first moment we met that I was sexually attracted to him but was it love? Or was it just pure lust I was feeling?

There is nothing to dislike about him. He's handsome, smart, considerate and caring. I loved how he was with Kaiden. You could tell that he genuinely cared about him by the things that he said and was always keen to listen to what Kaiden had to say. His body language spoke volumes as he was always relaxed and comfortable with Kaiden, regardless of what they were talking about. If Kaiden was happy I was happy.

With me, Cameron was very different. He came across as a little tense at times. It was if he was expecting more from me and I wasn't giving it. Of course we laughed and joked about many different things. We had our 'Me Time', as Cameron liked to call it, and I really enjoyed being with him but it was as if something was holding him back and I was beginning to think it was all my fault. Was being unsure of how I felt being picked up by him? Was it me being unsure that's causing his tension?

So far I hadn't had any further discussions about what I was expecting from any relationship. I hadn't even made a move on him either. Apart from some serious kissing we hadn't taken things further and I had asked Kaiden if Cameron was wanting me to make a play for him first. Kaiden laughed me out the park, enjoying telling me that I wasn't reading the situation at all well. Of course he knew all about my discombobulation and my hesitancy and chided me about it. With my ego bruised I asked Kaiden for his advice on what to do next.

He told me that the only way for me to understand how I felt was to spend the whole of February's Half Term with Cameron, spending the time talking about all kinds of everything. I must admit I sniggered when he had said 'all kinds of everything' and got bollocked immediately for it. Kaiden clarified his remark by saying that no subject was to be off limits. There was to be no place for embarrassment or awkwardness and I was to be totally honest and upfront with him about how I envisaged our relationship being. If I wasn't then the relationship wouldn't last and we could both be hurt.

He suggested that just Cameron and I go out on fun dates, and then call in at a coffee shop for a drink or café for lunch. He even recommended a romantic dinner for two in the expensive French restaurant, Toulouse, on the seafront if things were going well at the end of the week.

To say Cameron was surprised when I asked him to come out with just me on the Saturday is an understatement. He couldn't hide the happy look on his face as he quickly accepted before turning to look at Kaiden as if asking for his permission that it was alright by him.

Kaiden tried to wind me up by asking if he could come along and on seeing the happy look on Cameron's face turn to one of disappointment he readily added that he was just teasing. In an effort to make amends he stated that he was far too busy with homework projects to play gooseberry all week and for us to make our own plans.

The weather at Half Term in February can be quite unpredictable. I was a little concerned as the week before was cold with short rain showers but fortunately I woke on Saturday morning to bright sunshine. There was a cold easterly wind that tore right through you if you weren't careful, but out of the wind and in the sun it was unseasonably warm. All conducive to it being a good week, as long as it lasted. Fingers crossed.

Cameron jumped at the offer to walk on the pier. We walked the mile and ¾, with the wind at our backs, at a more than leisurely pace. As there were not that many people about, we daringly held hands for a while as we strolled and talked.

One of the first things Cameron asked me was if there was an ulterior motive in us being alone. From how he said it, and the look on his face, I knew that he had caught on about Kaiden's teasing and there was nothing to be gained by not telling him the truth.

We sat down in one of the many wooden shelters that lined the Pier's footpath and I opened up to him, telling him how confused I was about my feelings towards him, querying whether it truly was love that I felt for him as it was so very different to the love I felt for Kaiden.

Bless him, he didn't laugh or look angry but just squeezed my hand and said he understood. He said he loved his sister and it was very different to how he loved me. The fact that he said he loved me didn't go unnoticed by me either. I just chose not to respond to it at that moment. I felt that I had to clarify things first. I just said that I had always blocked any attachment to anyone else, other than Kaiden, since Grandma because I was afraid of being hurt again. I said that in my own way I really liked him. Liked him more than I have liked anyone else before but if it was in fact love, I wasn't sure if it was a good enough love for him. Before he could answer I added that I wanted to spend the whole week with him, going out different places and doing different things, sitting and having a fizzy or hot drink just talking things through like he had asked me to, just so we could both see if we had a future or not.

His response was to kiss me full on the lips and then envelope me in a crushing hug. I was just relieved nobody was around to witness his sudden and totally unexpected expression of love.

We sat in the shelter for at least three quarters of an hour, mainly chatting about our innermost feelings but we also arrived at the subject of sex quite unexpectedly, initiated by Cameron, by the way, and not by me. I was surprised that I didn't feel overly uncomfortable or embarrassed and, taking Kaiden's advice, I was open and honest with my answers, despite sitting there whilst having a raging penile tumescence.

I was grateful when Cameron finally suggested we carry on walking and as he got up I noticed he tried to discreetly adjust his clothing. I guess all that sex talk had gotten to him too.

We carried on our open and honest conversation as we walked the final stretch to the end of the pier. I could tell from Cameron's questions and answers, as well as his body language, that he seemed more relaxed than he had been for a long time.

After a quick look around the lifeboat station both of us put a pound coin in the collection box by the exit. I was surprised when Cameron told me that when they were younger his parents had encouraged him and his siblings to never walk past a lifeboat station without putting something from their pocket money in the collection box. It was just like our Grandma had done with me and Kaiden.

After a lunch of sausage, bacon, egg, and chips in the small café we caught the train back to the pierhead. On arrival I thought a little light-hearted fun would be the perfect end to a perfect day, so I suggested a round of crazy golf which I know Cameron loved to do.

His beaming smile at my suggestion let me know that my Operation Cameron Charm Offensive was at least beginning to show some promise.