As Karna - Out of my depth

Eleven

Now that the Princes have left for their education, I have started thinking about myself, I had joined the army to get practical experience in fighting and now that I have become a Maharathi, my purpose of joining the army is fulfilled. But, as I was trained by the army, I have to serve a minimum of ten years. At the age of eighteen, I have already completed three years of service. So, I have seven more years of mandatory service, I had been preparing to jump the ship before getting entangled in this rivalry. Because, the current avatar of Lord Narayan, Lord Sri Krishna is here to eliminate the warrior class, end the yuga and establish the dharma. In the epic, he has orchestrated the deaths of warriors on both sides by hook or crook, either with his tricks or by his inaction. He didn't spare anyone on the either side, even his dear nephew. People generally blame the death of Abhimanyu on the cheating of Kauravas, evil Karna breaking the bow and killing a helpless child etc. But Abhimanyu was no sixteen year old, still in young age by their standards but not a child of sixteen. People mistake that when the Moon God spoke of earth years, when he said, his child Varchas will return from his human life in 16 years. No, the Lord Chandra referred to years in Chandralok, where the time passes differently. We can see the example in the story of Muchukunda, the king who fought for gods in swarga for few years, when the entire yuga passed on earth. Abhimanyu was already born during Khandavadhahan, and Kurukshetra took place 33 years after the Khandavadhahan. Also, Kauravas or Karna didn't cheat and kill Abhimanyu, he would have been captured if he had surrendered. But he didn't, when he lost his bow, he took his mace and jumped at Drumasena, son of Dushashan and they each hit other on the heads and it was Abhimanyu who was slain. We can even hear in the words of Lord Balrama at the end of the blood bath that is Kurukshetra,that Duryodhan may have done many adharm in life, but he fought the war with dharma and followed all the rules and rituals. People rail at the death of Abhimanyu but conveniently forget the death of other children. The only difference Abhimanyu's death and other's death is that Abhi's death is directly caused by Lord Sri Krishna through his inaction. But people don't want to see his role in the death, so they make others responsible for it and invent many faults of those people. Was it not Lord Keshav, who interrupted when Abhimanyu was listening about Padmavyuha formation when Arjun was explaining to Subhadra. Did he not say, he knows what's happening everywhere at once, did he not take Arjuna to chase Trigarta army, when Abhimanyu was forced to take point by Pandavas even when he claimed he didn't know how to exit, saying they will be behind him. He knows, but it has already been 16 years in Chandralok and as per the word of Lord Chandra, he let Abhimanyu die.

Anyway, leaving my rant aside, if the Lord didn't spare his nephew, whom he practically raised, what are my chances if I get entangled. In the epic, Karna's mother and wives had to endure the loss of children, if I have a chance, I will definitely avoid causing them such grief. So, my best option is remove myself from Hastinapur. If I remember correctly, Lord Krishna left Mathura and settled in Dwaraka to escape from Jaraasandh's invasions when he was 20.

I had already discouraged my brothers from joining the army, even though I have been training them, I don't want them to lose their lives in this conflict. I will definitely resign from the army after my mandatory service and will plan to settle outside the Kuru Kingdom. I have been training my brothers not just in warfare bit also in other fields like medicine, architecture etc, so that when the time comes, they will have multiple professions to choose from. I pray that fate looks my way kindly.