One Mate and a Rejection

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Jace's pov

I wanted to collapse to my knees and beg for her forgiveness. I wanted, more then anything, to sell her my soul and pray to anything up there that she would at least know how much I'm hurting.

It was a battle between my depression and sadness that day of the battle.

Somehow my depression won and I ended up needing to kill her.

Needing to just get it over with, picturing my mothers neutral expression telling me that I did at least one thing right.

It was too late when I finally realized it wasn't worth it. Why, for years, have I been so damn desperate to earn a simple 'good job' from my mother?

Never, in my life, had she even bothered to crack a smile at me. She's treated me like an unworthy pack member for as long as I can remember.

Her love wasn't worth all this trouble. 

I was angry. My wolf was flaming red and my human was in destruction.

The fact that I killed one of the only people in my life that I've really grown to like hit me hard and it was all because of her!

My mother, who isn't a mother at all!

My anger had gotten the best of me and I decided to kill her.

It was so sudden, my Thoughts being so...thoughtless.

I don't think I even knew I  had a brain while I ripped apart her bones.

The closer I got to shredding her cold  heart, the more I realized that I killed a person for her.

The more I ripped apart layers of skin, the heavier the impact hit me that Emerald....Emerald is gone.

I had tears in my eyes as i ripped apart her unworthy soul.

That's all I remember. I saw nothing but blurry bloods between my streaming rivers of tears.

Looking back when they told me they found her, in the heart of the battle, still alive, but barely, I felt emotionless.

I hadn't regretted killing my mother though.

Now, looking at what I've done to her, I bet she wished she were dead.

So many lies I've told her, so much pain I've caused her, if anyone deserved to die, it was me.

The way she cried into Blade's shoulder, apologizing a thousand times and begging him to please come back, I felt like I was nothing.

I felt as little as the dust particles floating around the air.

I felt as worthless as my mothers heart must have been.

I took a step forward, sinking myself deeper into the pit of lava that burned slowly on my soul.

Emeralds tears became clearer in my vision. Her beautiful green eyes were filled with so much depression that it only sank me deeper into my self destruction.

I wanted to part my lips and speak but what could I possibly say to ease the pain?

She still hadn't  noticed me and I felt too trapped in my own brain to say anything.

My heart began to thud loudly and I finally decided to leave and come back when I've broken out of my self prison.

I stepped back, turning around slowly, Accidentally knocking into a long ebony table, shooting pain throughout my knee.

"Jace?" I heard a soft, cracked voice behind me.

I sighed and turned around slowly.

Her bagged eyes were  now blood red and staring wide open at me.