undeniable

25| cagney

LAYING ON THE ROOF, which I didn't know I could climb up on from my window until Sam showed me, I lazily tangle my fingers with his.

I brought a thick hoodie, two fluffy blankets, and we're huddled together so we aren't that cold, but it's still a little chilly.

"Hey, Mads, I can tell you stuff, right?" Sam asks softly, so softly I barely catch it.

Turning to face him, I smile. "Of course you can. You can tell me whatever you want."

He nods and tugs me closer, tucking me into his side and pulling the blankets over us tightly.

"Can I talk to you about my mom?"

"Absolutely,"

"Uh, I mean, my biological mom." He adds, shrugging sheepishly, suddenly very distracted with my hands.

I'm not gonna like, this does surprise me a little. We've skimmed over the topic of his mom and he's never gone into detail about her, but neither have I about my parents and I respected him for not prying, so I never did either.

I nod, encouraging him to go on and he does, sighing a little.

"Um, so her name is Cagney Bennett, and she and my dad started dating when she was sixteen and he was nineteen. I dunno, Dad doesn't love to talk about her but he makes it known that I'm allowed to ask about her and he answers all my questions as best he can. She's just- she was never a good person to him. They were always bickering." He starts, stopping to gently blow on my hands when he feels how cold they are.

"But it isn't like how we bicker. When we do it, it's always made known that we're teasing each other. When I call you a dummy or whatever, you know that it's a joke and that I respect you, a lot. But when they argued, she never was. She would tell him how she was fine before him and that she'd be fine after him, basically saying that he didn't mean anything to her and that if he left she'd be fine."

Sighing, I gently squeeze his hands.

That's horrible.

Even though I never really saw my parents together, from family pictures and videos you can just see how much they cared about each other. Dad meant so much to Mom that losing her was like losing a part of himself and I guess he just snapped.

"Anyway, my dad thought that maybe it was a phase she was going through because you know, they were young. At that young, you're still trying to figure out who the hell you are and that's a lot, some people can't do that while they're in a relationship. Other people can and I'm sure that for them it's just natural to have that person with them, through thick and thin, I just guess my mom wasn't that type of person." He says, his eyes trained on the sky as he looks at the stars and moon.

"When they had been together for two years, it had only gotten worse. She was horrible to Dad, treating him like shit and convincing him that he needed her until eventually, he'd snap. This happened every six months or so. He'd tell her that he didn't want to be with her anymore because she had no respect for him, then she'd say this insane stuff. I mean, I literally think she had a whole slew of mental disorders."

"She would lie. Flat out lie. The first time he tried to leave she told him that she was pregnant and the reason she had freaked out at him was because of the hormones. And of course, that's going to make him feel guilty for getting angry, she was pregnant with his kid." He says, looking pissed and even a little confused.

I tuck my head under his chin, hugging him for a second. He laughs tightly, rubbing my back and kissing the top of my head.

"A little bit of time went by and she refused to go to the hospital. She wouldn't take any at-home tests, she wouldn't go to the doctors for a check-up, and as a garnish, she wasn't showing any symptoms of pregnancy. Dad eventually realized that she had lied and that really messed him up, cause he wanted to be a dad and he thought that he was going to be a dad. So again, he tried to leave, and she made up more ridiculous lies, like the fact that she was sick and she needed him to help her."