Avalanche of Feelings (9)

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Kagura served some hot chocolate for the two of us after I had worn her bathrobe. My clothes were in the dryer and while we wait for them to get dry, she asked a few questions.

"What happened to your date? It was going good when you two left the theater."

"I-It's not a date, damn it! We're cousins for Pete's sake!"

Kagura cocked her head to the side and looked at me with both her eyebrows almost meeting at the center of her forehead.

"There's nothing wrong for cousins to go on a friendly date, Hanabi. But with that kind of reaction, I guess you have feelings for him," Kagura stated which had swept me off my feet.

Okay, I was too defensive that she actually got it right.

"Stop acting like you're some kind of psychic."

"Okay, okay, you're really prickly. Anyway, what happened? Why are you under the rain like some kind of damsel in distress in a movie?"

She really said that, huh, after ruining that moment when it was supposed to be Hanzo who founded me.

But since I was not that bad of a person to ignore the girl who helped me today, I replied to her honestly. But this will be the last time I'll act all friendly to this girl who took Hanzo's first kiss when it was supposed to be me! Argh!

"He said that he'll go overseas after graduation."

After sipping some hot chocolate, Kagura laid her cup on the table and said, "What's wrong with that?"

I looked at her with a dopey face. This girl, will she still ask that if Hayabusa just suddenly said to her that he will be leaving the country?

"I mean, he'll definitely find a good job overseas," she added.

I heaved a sigh.

"I know that but he didn't tell me earlier! Telling me at this time was just... shocking, you know. And there are only a few months before graduation. I was mad because he never told me about it when he had a lot of chance to say it."

"Then, just follow him there."

"How the hell is that a good solution?! As if my future is assured in Finland! And he was recommended there so it'll be fine if he went. Plus, I can't just go there so suddenly without much plan. Hey, are you sure you didn't drop your brain outside? Want me to go and find it for you?"

This time, Kagura glared at me. "What I am saying is follow him there when you are ready! I didn't say follow him after graduation! It is you who misplaced your brain!"

Instead of getting mad at her, I snickered because getting mad and raising her voice just didn't fit her. It was funny to see her do that, really.

I held my cup of hot chocolate with both hands to warm them up.

"But what if by the time I went there, he is already with someone else?" I asked in almost a whisper.

"But at least you tried. The thing here is that you reached out, you did your part as a girl in love. In that way, you won't regret anything like what if you actually tried and things like that," she stated.

I stared at her because I never expected her to be this good at giving advice. Was it because she was in a relationship? Did she experience such a thing?

But anyway, I blurted out my heaviest and most important concern, "But we're cousins."

"Cousins by paper, not by blood."

"That's exactly the same thing, Kagura. Even if we're not cousins by blood, we are still considered a family. What would people think? That we're doing incest? I definitely don't want that to happen! Never! Ever!"

"Then, why don't you suggest to your aunt to remove Hanzo from her list of family members?" she suggested. And that suggestion was not a good one, duh!

"I'd never dare break my aunt's heart! For years, she treated Hanzo as his son! It would be selfish of me to ask that to her!"

Kagura, this time, took her cup from the table and before she drinking, she said, "You've got it really rough, huh. Sucks to be you."

She didn't have to rub that on my face.

"Did he tell you that he'd stay in Finland for good?" she asked after a while.

"He didn't say it directly but he said it in between his lines."

"Then, before he leaves, confess to him. I think that's the best choice you have right now."

Kagura did have a point in that. However, my problem was that I didn't have the courage to tell him my true feelings. Just imagining myself doing it was hard enough, how much more if I do it in real life?

After that talk with Kagura, I headed home, still undecided on what to do next.

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