aroace rants

Trans Thoughts Today

idk i thought it would maybe interest one or two of you how the whole gender thing has progressed over here at mine

because it sure has

and also i have many Thoughts so yk, time to make all of you read them

because i need to rant a bit and have full control over this account

ahhh i still remember when i was like "nonbinary? thats a thing? hm, what if thats me? NOooo *denial*"

and then slowly went to "hm, she/they pronouns but in a cis way hahaha"

yeahh weve moved on from that i think

tbh i see my gender very loosely... mostly because i dont have the energy and the time to think about it so much (and im too lazy)

so i mostly describe myself as trans or on the trans spectrum

but i might also be transmasc

or genderfluid

or some kind of specific flavour of nonbinary

but you know what? thats a problem for future me

all i really know is

1. sometimes i remember im trans and get really happy about it, because the community (or what ive seen from it) is very nice and the flags pretty

2. then sometimes i get really upset because what if im dissappointing my parents i can never come out to them and also, uh, dysphoria

3. pronouns and names are A Thing - i currently have a deadname (or at least an unconscious one) but not really a new one; i technically use any pronouns but im not sure if the she/her is in there for other peoples conveniences sake and so i dont get misgendered, i havent really had much time to look into neopronouns and stuff but ghost/ghostself is Really cool

4. its really cool to talk about Trans Things with my Trans Friends

also! to relate this back to the aro/ace stuff youre probably here for, so Much of the thing that i thought was attraction is probably just gender envy, man

yeah uh

this was really nice to put into words ngl