Cold Fame || ENHA

3. No crying

September 19th, 2020

After the live was finished we were told that we were going to do one last thing. I wanted to go home so bad. My back was hurting and tears were begging to leave my eyes.

We were leas by our manager into a big room. There was a projector with people I haven't seen before. But then I saw my sister on there. She was smiling. She didnt do that often.

Then my eyes landed on Hitman Bang. I immediately bowed and bowed to the staff as well. Wouldnt want to disrespect our CEO. The others members then began waving to the people on the screen.

Their parents I suppose. A hint of jealousy hit me. If only they cared. Anyway we sat on a couch infront of the screen and the parents were told to introduce themselves and who's parent they were.

This time I wasnt last. I was 4th. Niki started, then Jake, Heeseung, Me, Jungwon, Sunoo, Jay and then Sunghoon. When it got to my sister I felt sweat slightly forming on my forehead.

"Hey I'm Haena. Jeongmi's sister." Haena spoke pretty happily. Shes probably faking it. She wouldnt act that happy about being my sister. No way.

I waved pitifully. I saw the members glance at me in confusion but otherwise didnt say anything about it. After the introduction of parents they got to talk a bit to their parents one by one.

I could tell Haena got nervous. She still didnt know sign language. What more could I expect? For her to care enough to learn sign language to talk to me? Pft, yeah right.

But it still hurt. A lot actually. I just wanted someone to care. I guess I'm asking for too much. Hitman Bang spoke up all of a sudden, knocking me out of my thoughts.

"Haena. Is there anything you'd like to say to your sister? Maybe on your parents behalf since they couldnt make it." I suddenly got angry. I'm not sure but I think they know my parents arent alive. Of course they dont know what happened in the past.

They arent going to know but still. Damn. I wouldnt care if they had something to say. If it wasnt sorry or any closure then I didnt want to hear it. I didnt want to glare at the CEO so I just stared at Haena.

Haena looked shocked at the mention of our parents. The reason she drinks. The reason she doesnt care about me. And the reason for so many other things. Haena then finally conjured some words.

"Uhh y-yes. I'm proud of you Jeongmi. I'm sure that they are sorry. All you can do is move forward right? Do well sister." She smiled through the whole thing but I could tell her jaw was tight.

I saw tears form in her eyes. I merely blinked and gave a small nod. They arent sorry. You arent proud. How can I move forward if I cant even heal? But then again, you cant wait until things arent hard anymore to be happy.

I saw in Haena's eyes that she knew I didnt take her words seriously. I could also tell that it hurt her to see I had no care in what she said anymore. She best not dare act like she cares now.

Now the whole room was staring at me. They were probably curious on what she meant. It's not their buissness. It never will be. Then Hitman pulled out some papers and began to read a whole bullshit letter about how he will always be here for us and all that.

Suurre. I wasnt listening to him at all. Instead I was looking down at the floor and pretended I was listening intently. My sisters words were stuck in my head. I wanted to believe her so bad but I couldnt.

My inner child couldnt. Not right now. I felt like crying again until I heard everyone start to clap as Hitman finished his speech. I immediately started to clap as well. We all stood and bowed. Then we were shown a cake.