All The Small Things

61

Kayden POV
"Here, let me get out before I get you." I said, lifting Luca off my lap before getting out of the bathtub. I quickly wrapped myself in a towel, tucking it before helping Luca out. I wrapped him up in a towel, kissing his cheeks and making him giggle. I grabbed the hairbrush of the sink and quickly ran it through his hair, trying to get all the knots and be fast.
"C'mon, let's get you dressed." I mumbled, setting down the hairbrush back where it was and leading him to the bedroom.
"Ya, I'm all nakey." He agreed, walking on his tiptoes after me. I got him a pair of sweatpants and a shirt, tossing it onto the bed.

In the middle of me drying his hair after getting his dressed, he asked me something I wasn't expecting.
"When's Papa coming home..?" He quietly asked, looking up at me.
"Well, he's supposed to get home this friday-" I started, not getting a chance to finish my sentance and noticing he's starting to call Jacop papa.
"How much? How much days?" He interrupted me.
"2." I said, finally deciding his hair was dry enough.
"Mm.. need him." He whispered.
"What for?" I asked, glancing at him genuinely comcerned.
"I jus wan Papa too." He whined. Poor boy...

Luca POV

After 2 days, Jacob was still set to leave and we were about to go pick him up.
"Dady! We get Jacob!" I shouted, smiling big and grabbing Dady's hand.
"I know! Go get Jupiter, we gotta leave soon." He said, gently pushing me in the direction of the bedroom. I  ran in and ran back out, stuffie in my hand and trying to get Dadg to pick me up.
"You're a big boy, you can get in the car by yourself." He told me, brushing my hand away..
"Mtays.." I mumbled, putting my hands back to myself.
"Go on, the car's unlocked." He urged me, grabbing his stuff. I listened and walked out to the car, sliding into the front seat and trying to buckle myself in. I couldn't really get it on my own until after Kayden was practically pulling out of the driveway. Did he not care I wasn't buckled?

The car ride I tried talking, but didn't get a response almost at all. I mostly got a small laugh and then dead silence, so eventually I just shut up for the rest of the time.
"I'm gonna go in and check him out, it'll probably be like 20 minutes." Dady said, quickly getting out of the car and into the hospital. He left me on my own and didn't even give me a choice. I sniffled and held Jupiter close to me, trying not to cry. I can't cry, Dady would hate me and I'm sure Jacob doesn's want to deal with me crying the second I see him. I gently kicked my feet on the floor of the car the whole time Dady took, which felt more like an hour than 20 minutes. Eventually, he came out with Jacob next to him and they were both laughing. I smiled a bit and watched him get in, turning around to look at Jacob as he got in the back seat.

"Hi hi!" I giggled, stimming.
"Aw, Hey Babes." He said, buckling in.
"Turn around, I'm driving." Dady told me, putting the keys in the car. I pouted and turned back to face the front, trying to buckle myself in. I didn't get it until after we were already on the highway, which freaked me out.
"Help.. I can't do it." I whined, on the edge of tears. Both because I was frustrated I couldn't do it and because Dady was acting like he didn't care about me. He groaned and grabbed the seat belt with one hand and clicked it in.
"Thanks.." I whispered, rubbing my nose. Dady doesn't love me anymore.. I'm just in his way.

He pulled into the driveway and parked, pulling the keys out of the ignition and getting out with Jacob. Which left me to figure anything out myself. I really wanna be big and not be dependent on Dady, but I don't know how to get out of it right now. Dada helps me get little and out of it a couple times, but I don't know how to do it myself... I struggled to unbuckled but got it done before picking up Jupiter and hurrying into the house. I need lovies.. I'm all sad an I don't like it.
"Papa-" I started, trying to get someone's attention. I don't even care which one it is. But then I got cut off.
"Luca, quit. We're talking, you need to not interrupt." Dady reprimanded me, making my lip quiver and tears well up in my eyes.
"M sorry.." I whispered, dropping my arms to my sides and trying not to cry. I didn't know they was talking..

He sighed before starting to talk to Jacob again, no one noticing me anymore. I chewed on my bottom lip and sat down quietly on the floor next to Dady who was on the couch. Maybe I could just be kinda close to him.. I don't want to make him upset again so I think I'll settle for being near him. I silently chewed on my lip, cheeks, and on Jupiter until Jacob got up, talking about how he needed to go take a proper shower. Dady didn't make any attempt to comfort me or pick me up or cuddle me so I didn't try and get his attention. He hates me.. The thoughts running through my head were brutal and making tears silently stream down my face.

"He hates you."
"He can't stand you little."
"Just be big. You're dumb and useless, especially little."
"He wouldn't even care if you killed yourself."
"You could do anything right now and he wouldn't even notice."
"You couldn't even help Jacob when he overdosed. You're the reason he almost died."
"Even your mom can't love you, clearly it's your fault."
"You'll never get love. You don't deserve it. You couldn't handle it."
"Cut yourself, you know it works. You always feel better after."
"Go back to your mom, you could Overdose and she wouldn't notice. Neither would anyone else."

A chill ran down my spine and I quickly wipes the tear streaks away. Dady hates crying. He hates me. He wants me gone.
"Papa.." I barely whispered to myself.
"Go to bed." Dady suddenly spoke, tapping me to get my attention. I nodded and stood up, getting to the bedroom and climbing under the sheets all by myself. I took my phone from my pocket and turned on a playlist that seemed relatable right now and it ended up being a song I'd heard before, briefly. The chorus was what I knew.
'Alone again, alone again, alone again.. Alone.." I put it on loop and closed my eyes, hoping to just sleep.

Kayden POV
I felt so guilty about brushing Luca off and kinda ignoring him, but I think if I did talk to him I would've just gotten mad. I felt especially bad though when I walked into the bedroom a couple hours after Luca had gone to bed and he was softly sobbing.
"Baby.." I whispered, sitting down on the edge of the bed. The longer I sat there, the longer he cried and squirmed. Should I wake him up?
"Papa.." I heard him whine but he was still sleeping. I don't know what it was exactly, but the way he said it broke my heart for him. I think I need to wake him up. I gently grabbed his shoulder and shook him a bit, making him quickly wake up and push himself onto his butt. He looked up at me for a second before breaking into tears and looking away.
"Bubba.. Come here." I said, opening my arms for him.
"Dady!" He cried, crawling into my lap.
"Shhhh.. I'm right here, you're okay." I soothed him, scratching his back and shoulders.

"Was scary.." He whispered.
"What happened, Love bug?" I asked gently.
"Papa went bye bye.. and I couldn't save him.." He mumbled, burying his tear streaked face into my chest.
"It's okay.. Papa's fine." I reassured him, assuming he meant Jacob. He shook his head a little and his body shook.
"Let's go see Papa. I promise he's okay." I suggested, standing up with him and carrying him up to Jacob's room. He should still be awake, he only just got out of the shower like 20 minutes ago. I gently kissed the top of his head and rubbed his back as I carried him up the stairs to Jacob's room. I knocked, maybe a little bit loud but I don't think it matters, and waited tor Jacob.

"What-"  Jacob started, opening the door shirtless but stopping talking when he saw Luca crying.
"Honey, what happened?" He asked, holding out his arms for the boy. Luca reached for him anyways, so I let Jacob hold him.
"Papa!" He cried, wrapping his arms around Jacob's shoulders.
"He had a nightmare about you getting hurt." I said, only half lying. I don't think I should say he dreamt he died.
"He can sleep if here if you want? And if he wants." He offered, starting to soothe Luca. I nodded a bit and rubbed my eyes. I normally wouldn't mind them cuddling, but I also wanna try and help make it up to Luca for kinda ignoring him.
"Sleep with us too, I don't exclude." He said, smiling a little.

"Three way cuddle." I mumbled, scratching my face. I heard Luca calming himself down so I went ahead and flopped down on Jacob's bed. I'm tired and work tommorow, early, so those two better lay down already if they want my affection.