I don't remember much, all I recall was the party, bullet noises and blood, blood, I realize that I'm in hospital and see Nkosi by my bedside.
Nkosi: Sthandwa Sam
A tear escapes his eyes
Nkosi: I thought I lost you, ungithusile
I let a faint smile esfeel a pain in my abdomen, wait my ba..my baby. I swallow the lump I have in my throat, realising that I never even told Nkosi, I try composing myself.
Me: Nkosi I need to...
Nkosi: Ngiyaxolisa Sthandwa Sam.
I look at him, he's eyes are red and it seems like he blames himself.
Me: Baby
Nkosi: Cha Yaya, I should have tried to protect you more, I'm sorry.
I just broke down and he held me in his embrace. I was crying because my baby was no more and because my husband blamed himself, if he knew I was pregnant it would only break him more. I fell asleep and woke up the next morning when I heard the doctor coming in
Doc: Good Morning Ms Bhengu, Mr Ndlovu just went to sign some documents.
Me: Morning doc
He clears his throat
Doc: Ms Bhengu did you know..
Me: Yes, I know. I...I
Doc: I'm sorry Ms Bhengu...
He walks towards the door
Me: Doc please don't tell anyone I was pregnant even my partner.
Doc: I...
Me: Please.
Doc: Fine, is there anything else?
Me: Do you know the gender?
He looks down
Doc: It was a.....a girl.
Kodwa Jehova ngenzeni engaka, I cried myself to sleep because the pain was unbearable and Nkosi couldn't find me awake like this.
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I woke to some whispers.
Siyanda: Shh she's sleeping.
Mom: Awwu nkosi yam ingane yam, Aya mntanam.
Me: Sawubona mama, Siya, Baba, Bhuti, Langa.
Dad: Sawubona ngan' yam.
My siblings: Aya.
Me: Uphi uNkosi?
They all share a low chuckle
Mom: Lowo, he hasn't left your side unless his urgently needed which hasn't happened. Namanje he only went to get coffee so that we can have some time. Uyak'thanda ngani yam.
I smile at that and shed a tear, even with all the bad happening, God still blessed me with an amazing man.
Dad:Let's go get him, asambeni
Me: I love you guys, ngiyabonga.
All: We love you.
Everyone leaves and Siyanda stays for a bit. She hits my arm.
Me: Ouch
Siyanda: You scared me, ingathi uyakohlwa ukuthi you're supposed to be my maid of honor one day.
We laugh at that and are interrupted by someone clearing their throat, we turn to see Nkosi at the door.
Siyanda: Okay let me leave you two, I love you.
She kisses my forehead and I smile.
She walks to the door
Siyanda: Bhuti
She gives him a hug.
Nkosi: Yaya
Aww guys indoda yam his eyes were red and he looked broken. Something funny about Nkosi is that he calls me different names depending on his mood if he's happy it's pet names, stressed or worried Yaya and if he's really mad it's Ayanda.
I moved over to once side of the bed and patted my side
Me: Woza
He walked over, took off his shoes and got on the bed, it wasn't big, it was your normal hospital bed. I layed my head on his chest and felt my whole body relax, he kissed my forehead
Him: This will never happen again, I promise to protect you.
I looked up at him and gave him a kiss.
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