The Path Back to You | Levi x OC

Chapter 3 - Reconciliation

Anastasya

Anya knew her body would recover. Probably. It had been so strong before she'd left the walls, and even after months of sleeping rough and minimal food, she was still agile and had retained a good degree of strength. She pulled on the clothes that she guessed had been lent by Hange, and then sat back down on the bed, staring into space. She had no idea how long she had been sitting there for when Levi joined her, now dressed in a long-sleeved, off-white top and black trousers, his hair damp from bathing. His dark, blue-grey eyes searched hers, and she knew she would have to talk eventually.
They both would.
"Why were you so covered in blood? It looked like you had painted yourself with it," he suddenly asked.
"I had, essentially. I coated myself in animal blood and guts to try and deter the Titans."
"Did it work?"
"Some of the time, but... I don't think they simply smell us. I think it's a combination of things."
They fell into another silence until Levi reached out and gently tugged at her newly-white hair, which was a lot longer than when anyone had last seen her.
"I like it."
"I think it's the stress and exertion that's made it this way," she said. "But me too."
"You hated the colour of your hair before. You were always complaining about it."
Her hair before had been a rich, dark shade of brown, but she had always wanted to have black hair instead. It was ironic how far the other way it had gone.
"I did," she agreed.
There was a small pause, and then Levi took the plunge.
"What happened that day, Anya?" he asked quietly.
She sighed, looking down at the floor. She had replayed that fateful day over and over in her head, but this would be the first time she spoke about it to anyone.
"When the ledge broke, I fell into the ravine. It was narrow, so the Titan couldn't reach me, which was lucky as I passed out. I managed to use my ODM gear to slow my fall and travel some way up the ravine, but I hit my head on something. I think I was out cold for about three days, judging by the shape of the moon when I finally saw the sky again."
Levi flinched, horrified, but she continued.
"The strange thing was that when I finally came to... I wasn't in the ravine anymore."
His eyes widened. They had searched and searched, but other than her blood, there had been no trace of her.
"How?"
"I... I don't know," she said, frowning. "To this day, I have no idea. I don't remember moving myself, and when I woke up, I basically couldn't move; not for a long time. I think I broke a few ribs, maybe some bones in my feet as well. I found myself to be lying in a tiny cave at the end of the ravine, and by some miracle, Nightmare was outside the entrance, waiting. I managed to reach into my pack and drink and eat a little, and I stayed there for another five days or so, trying to wait for the pain and dizziness to subside. It wasn't long before Titans found me. That was the only bad thing about that cave; it was too narrow for them to reach through, but as it was at ground level, they could get to it easily," she said, shuddering at the memory of the Titans' gruesome faces watching her in the dark.
"I was running out of food and water. I knew I had to get out of there, but there were about seven Titans in total blocking the way. I was either going to die from dehydration, or die by being eaten."
"Couldn't you have waited until night?" Levi asked. "When they're inactive?"
She smiled grimly.
"I discovered a few things out there. One of them being that that's not the case for all Titans. Some of them are able to move during the night."
Shock rippled across Levi's face.
"What?"
"I think it's to do with the moon. After all, its light is just a reflection of sunlight. Some of them are able to use it, I suppose. As it happens, I did wait until night, because they still seemed to be weaker then than they were during the day. I jabbed my blades through the eyes of the closest one and I ran. I pulled myself up onto Nightmare and just about managed to escape, although I had no idea where to go next. I panicked and rode further up the mountain, hoping that they wouldn't be able to follow if I went high enough. Eventually I found another cave and a plateau out of their reach. There was a small stream nearby, and I was able to set some traps up there without Titans trampling on everything. That's where I stayed to recover." She paused, swallowing hard.
"I managed to make it back inside Wall Maria last month. I tried to follow the wall round to the next district, but the Titans... they made it impossible. I had no choice but to go to the giant forest and wait up in the trees, trying to think of what to do next. I wanted... I wanted to come home so badly," she said, her voice finally breaking.
Levi cupped her chin so that she looked at him.
"I'm so sorry," he told her, rare tears brimming in his eyes, too.
"For what?" she whispered.
"For leaving you behind. It's my fault."
"No... No, it's not your fault."
"It is. I shouldn't have listened to Erwin. If I had just followed my instincts and acted alone-"
"No, Levi. You had the others and yourself to think about, and so did Erwin. You and I both would have ordered our squads to do the same thing had it been anyone else. There can't be an exception just because it's me."
"Tch. There can, damnit!"
He stood up, hissing in pain, and hobbled a few steps away, keeping his back to her.
"You're one of the only good things in my life, and I abandoned you when you needed me the most. What kind of a man does that make me?" he asked, turning round again.
"A sensible one."
He shook his head, clamping a hand over his mouth and regarding her for a moment.
"I will always make an exception for you," he said, finally letting his hand fall. "You're worth it."
She had longed to be reunited with Levi, but she had known that it wouldn't be easy. That he would blame himself first, and Erwin second. She wondered if they had fought with one another in the aftermath of the Expedition. She sighed, chuckling slightly, though it was without humour.
"I come out with a lot of shit, sometimes," she said.
"Huh?"
"Telling you that you were right to leave me behind. You were, of course. If it had been the other way around, though... I would have wanted to stay, just like you did. I would have made an exception for you, too."
Levi sat back down on the bed.
"I'm never letting you go again," he told her. "I swear it on my life."
"Levi... You can't make such promises."
He arched an eyebrow.
"And you?"
She huffed a laugh.
"You've got me there again."
He cracked a smile but it was so tentative and fragile. She remembered that their comrades had died earlier that day, and she placed a hand on his thigh.
"I'm sorry for what happened today," she said. "I... I saw them, but I was too late. I took Petra's ODM gear so that I might stand a chance of getting back to you all. What happened?"
Levi grit his teeth.
"The Colossal Titan breached the wall recently in Trost; that's why we had to come back through Kalaneth District earlier. During the attack, we discovered that one of the new recruits has the ability to turn into a Titan."
She gaped like a fish as she struggled to process the information.
"A... What? You mean that what we suspected about the Armoured Titan and the Colossal Titan being controlled by humans...was correct?"
"Yeah, it seems like it, though we still don't know who pilots them. We were able to capture two 'Pure' Titans following the breach but after a few days, someone killed them both. Erwin's suspected a traitor for a while now and that confirmed it for him. He arranged the Expedition today to draw them, predicting that they would go after our shifter, Eren, which they did," he said darkly.
"The Female Titan," she deduced. She had seen the giant, muscled Titan woman and known she was different to the others. The revelation that people could willingly change into Titans was a bombshell she hadn't truly been expecting, despite her past theories, and she tried to get her head around it.
"So this boy, and presumably a girl, can transform into Titans? How is it possible? Can we trust this 'Eren'?" she asked, trying to douse her sudden anxiety.
"He seems like a good kid, even if he is annoying as hell. Whoever controls the Female Titan is probably still among us. We were able to capture her in the giant forest, but before I could cut her open, she called for the Titans to come and eat her body," he spat. "We were completely overwhelmed, and she managed to slip away and go after Eren. By the time I reached him, the others... were dead," he said quietly.
"They died trying to protect him. The brat's only fifteen and he still doesn't understand his powers or how to fully control them. They didn't want him to have to transform to save them. I told him he had to make up his own mind about what to do; to either trust the team around him, or himself. I should have told him to do it, then they'd-"
"Don't," she said. "That's not on you, Levi. They made their choice in your absence. They were trained to act independently. You can't be in two places at once. They did what they thought was best."
"Maybe you're right."
"You know I am, just like you were when I held myself responsible for the deaths of my first squad. We're all too aware of how easy it is to blame ourselves despite never being able to know if the other choice would have worked out any better. There's no point dwelling on it too much, but...if you want to talk about it, I'm here. You don't have to bottle it up."
Levi moved his hand so that it grasped the one she still rested on his leg.
"That goes for you, too," he said quietly.
She smiled, though her lips wavered from the effort and soon fell again.
"Perhaps it wasn't as bad as you might imagine out there. It was quite freeing, living beyond the walls, away from all of the politics." She absentmindedly stroked his hand with a finger. "Do we have to go and see Erwin?"
"Yeah. In about half an hour."
"Oh." She laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. After a moment, Levi did the same. "I'm so tired," she sighed.
"Me, too."
"We can rest, soon. Though I don't have a room anymore, I suppose."
"It's not like there's a shortage," he said wearily. He turned his head to meet her eyes. "I want you with me tonight."
"That's very assertive of you."
"I never want to let you out of my sight again."
She gave him a rueful smile.
"Even though I'm so disgusting now?"
"You could never be disgusting," he told her, frowning. "Your body shows the fight you've been through, and yet it didn't fail you. That's something to be admired."
She responded by pressing her lips to his, smiling as he reacted.
She was almost home.