Chapter 64 - Rest for the Devil

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Anastasya

Anya only half listened to the others in the wake of Levi's decision. The rest of her attention was on Erwin, whose breaths were becoming shallower by the second. Hange was the first to leave, taking Mikasa with her. The others soon followed.
"Shit... Shit!" Jean cursed.
"Armin... See you," said Conny, following after him while Floch took Eren.
Levi crouched down to look at Anya.
"You have to go, too."
She made no attempt to move as he rolled Erwin's sleeve back, readying to inject the serum. She shook her head just before Erwin threw his arm up. Levi's eyes widened and he lowered the serum.
"Erwin!"
"Teacher..." Erwin murmured, barely conscious. "How do we know there's not more humans...outside the walls?"
Anya couldn't restrain her sob. He'd uttered exactly the same question that'd started their quest over twenty years ago. She stroked his cheek with trembling fingers.
"It's okay. It's okay, Erwin."
She lifted her gaze, so full of helplessness, to Levi, pleading with him to understand. Judging by the sorrow reflected in his own gaze, he did. Anya wasn't ready to let go and yet deep down...deep down she knew it was selfish. Saving Erwin was the best thing for humanity, and it'd mean he'd get to realise his dream, but the guilt he felt was already haunting him and there would only be so much more to come. When Levi had told him to give up on his dream and die...they had both seen the smile and the look of peace that'd appeared on his face. He'd finally been set free. Levi looked away.
"Take him," he whispered.
She wailed her grief and lifted Erwin into her arms, clumsily carrying him to a secluded rooftop nearby while Levi injected Armin and left Bertholdt to his mercy. Moments later Hange, Levi and a wide-eyed Floch joined her.
"Captain, why did you...?" Floch asked.
"Do you think you can forgive him?" Levi asked, staring down at Erwin. "He had no choice but to become a devil. It was us who wished for that and in the end, when he'd finally been set free from hell, we wanted to bring him back once more. But I think...it's time to let him rest."
Anya pressed her lips to Erwin's forehead, her tears raining down upon his pale skin. To her shock, he opened his icy blue eyes and spoke one final time.
"Anastasya..." he rasped. "There...you are... Let's go to...the sea..."
His lips twisted into a serene smile, and then he closed his eyes and released his final breath. Agony unlike anything she'd felt before threatened to consume Anya, and she buried her face into his chest and screamed, feeling as though her own life was ending with his. She never wanted to let go, never ever wanted to see another face for fear she might forget his. She sobbed, clinging to him as her soul threatened to fade with his. She was aware of arms encircling her, trying to comfort her, but whether they were Levi's or Hange's or someone else's entirely, she didn't know nor care.

***

Levi

Levi's heart had shattered into pieces as soon as he'd made the decision but now, watching Anya, it felt as though those pieces were shredding every inch of his body as they tore through him, carried on a tsunami of grief. He kept his arms around her, though he didn't think she noticed. He nodded to Hange and Floch and they left to help the others care for Armin, who'd successfully transformed and devoured Bertholdt. Alone at last, Levi let his tears fall freely.
"Anya," he eventually managed to choke out. "Let's get him off this damn roof."
She didn't respond, and he lowered his arms from around her.
"Anya..."
At last, she lifted her head. However, she kept her eyes trained on Erwin. She nodded, just slightly, as Hange returned.
"I've found a room to take him to," Hange said, voice gentle. "It's just the next building over."
Somehow, Levi stood up.
"All right. Anya, let's go."
Anya made no attempt to move, and he looked helplessly at Hange. When everyone had presumed Anya to have died the three of them had, for the most part, grieved in private. He had no idea how to deal with it all now. Hange knelt down and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Follow us."
Anya nodded again, and Levi lifted Erwin and took him to the room Hange had found. It was basic but clean and intact, and they carefully laid him down on the bed. Anya walked in, went straight to the bed, and laid her head upon Erwin's chest. Levi's eyes widened and Hange gestured for him to follow her outside.
"She needs to do this," she told him. "You should stay, too. Judging by the state Armin's in, it's going to be some hours before he recovers. We've put him on top of the wall with Sasha; she's still out cold too. I'll post a watch, and then the rest of us will search for any survivors. I'll come and find you if the situation changes."
"All right. Hange... Thank you."
She nodded, and he realised that she was now the leader of the Scouts. He spared a moment to wonder how she felt about that, and then turned and went back to Anya. He watched her from the doorway for a long while as she stared into space, and then he took a seat on the floor. He leant his head back against the wall, unsure as to whether he should, or even could, fight back his grief. He'd have to be strong until they got home. There was still a mission to complete and they were going to need him. He shut his eyes and released a shaking sigh. Erwin had been his best friend, and he could already feel the massive hole he'd left behind. He just prayed that he wouldn't ever regret his decision.

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