Chapter 69 - Lost Souls

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Levi

Levi tensed as he and Anya entered the dim dining hall. Sitting at a table up ahead, Conny and Jean were sharing a solemn meal. How Anya would react to their presence was anyone's guess. When the two of them saw her, their pitiful expressions somehow became sadder still. Jean flicked his gaze to Levi, as though to ask for permission to speak. Levi chose to ignore him. Jean had ideas of his own, though, and he jumped up and walked over, Conny following close behind.
"Captain Levi. Captain Anya."
They both saluted, and Levi watched Anya intently. She stared at them, as though she were trying to figure out how she felt. In the awkward silence, Jean shifted and tried again. He had to admire the kid's persistence.
"H-How are you, Captain Anya?"
"Hungry."
Although she sounded blunt, Levi could tell from the twitch of her lips that she was fighting back a smile.
"I-I'll go and find you something to eat!" said Conny.
He ran off to the kitchens, while Anya moved to take a seat at the nearest table. Levi sat next to her, while Jean stood there awkwardly.
"M-May I join you?"
"Sure," said Anya. She nodded at Jean's arm, which was in a sling. "Anyway. Never mind me. How are you?"
"O-oh, this? It's nothing."
"Hmm. Where's Sasha?"
"She's recovering in her room. She's all right. Keeps asking for food."
Anya's mouth finally tilted into a smile.
"No change there, then."
Conny returned and placed two bowls of steaming-hot stew in front of them.
"Here we are!"
"Thank you, Conny," Anya replied.
She stared down at the bowl as though she was searching for the motivation to begin eating. Levi took up a spoon and started, hoping it would prompt her to do the same.
"Jean; have you had a chance to visit your mother?" she asked.
"No, not yet," he replied. "I was hoping to go tomorrow... If that's okay?"
"It's fine, unless Hange needs you for something," Levi replied.
With a great deal of reluctance, Anya raised her spoon to her lips. Once she'd finished her first mouthful, she set it down again. Levi hid his frown.
"You should go and see her as soon as possible," she told Jean. "She must've been worried about you during the latest operation. How are you, Conny? Doing okay?"
"Yes, thank you, Captain Anya. No complaints here."
She cast her gaze around the room.
"Isn't Floch with you?"
A look passed between Jean and Conny.
"He...prefers to be alone," said Conny.
A crease appeared between Anya's brows.
"None of us know him very well," she said. "Although he seems a little...abrasive, you have to try and make him feel at home here. He's one of us, now, and we need to stick together."
"We'll do our best," Jean replied.
As Anya continued to speak with the brats, Levi did his best to hide his pride. Despite the fact she was suffering, Anya was doing what she could to make everyone around her feel supported and appreciated. He just hoped she stayed that way. She placed a hand on his arm, and he realised she'd asked him something.
"Huh?"
"We were wondering if we're all going to the briefing the day after tomorrow," she said.
"I expect so. It's not like there won't be room for us all."
He cursed inwardly as his comment caused Jean and Conny's faces to fall. Anya's smile flickered. She recovered it and turned to the brats.
"Go and get some rest. We can talk more soon."
"Captain Anya... We just wanted to say thank you," said Conny.
"For what?"
"You were there right when we needed you, back in Shiganshina. I was doing my best to direct everyone but in reality, I didn't really know what the hell I was doing." Jean scratched the back of his head, abashed. "I'm just sorry I let Reiner go, I... I made a mistake. He was alive, and I thought that we should keep him that way in case we needed him for whoever got the serum, but then...the Beast Titan and the four-legged one rescued him. I...I really messed up."
Jean had tears in his eyes. Anya walked round the table to place a hand on his shoulder.
"Jean. The leadership you showed throughout the operation was admirable, and Conny; the way you cared for Sasha and the others, binding everyone together...it was exactly what was needed. You're a great team with a lot of potential. What happened with Reiner... It was a mistake, yes, but you were doing what you thought was right. You were following...you were following Erwin's orders." She closed her eyes for a moment and then continued. "Just remember that we defeated the Armoured Titan before. We sure as hell can do it again."
"We're...we're sorry. About Commander Erwin," said Jean.
Levi tensed. A few tears escaped down Anya's hollow cheeks.
"Me, too," she said. "His death...is one of the biggest tragedies the Scouts have ever known. But it wasn't in vain. He and all those who followed him that day saved us. It's our responsibility to continue his legacy and keep pushing for the freedom of humanity."
She seemed to have reignited the determination in both Conny and Jean, and they left the hall looking considerably more hopeful. As soon as they were out of sight, Anya sat down heavily upon the wooden bench.
"Hey. You okay?"
She looked up, a thin sheen of sweat coating her face.
"Yeah. Just...the lack of food over the past few days is catching up with me. I'm dizzy."
"You haven't finished your meal."
"It's difficult... I've gone too long without eating, and now my appetite's all messed up. I feel nauseous."
"Try."
He moved the bowl in front of her. She grimaced down at it, but she picked up her spoon and forced herself to eat. After three mouthfuls, she stopped.
"That's all I can do," she said, her voice weak. "I'm sorry."
He pursed his lips.
"It's all right. You'll just have to build your appetite up gradually."
"Ah, you're still here."
They turned to see Hange stretching as she made her way over.
"How are you doing?" she asked Anya.
Anya and Hange had become friends as soon as they'd met. Hange's weirdness and obsession with Titans went hand in hand with Anya's passion and curiosity. They'd been thick as thieves for almost ten years, before Levi had even known them. He was glad they had one another.
"Better," Anya replied. "But it's going to take a long time."
Hange nodded and sat beside her.
"What about you? I'm so sorry about Moblit."
Hange shrugged, her remaining eye filling with tears.
"Sometimes it still doesn't feel real."
Anya took a shaking breath, and Hange drew her into a hug, no further words needed. Levi stared down at the table as they both began crying, his own grief taking him by surprise again. He swiped at his eyes just as Hange and Anya pulled apart.
"What have you found in the books?" Anya asked.
"I wish I could tell you it was good news," said Hange. "I really do. But I'm afraid we're about to jump from the frying pan and into the fire."
Rather than being afraid or exhausted upon hearing Hange's dire prediction, Anya looked determined. Angry, even.
"The meeting with the others in the military is the day after tomorrow, isn't it?"
"That's right," Hange replied.
"Then tomorrow, all of us who're left in the Scouts should meet to discuss it."
"What about Eren and Mikasa? They're still in the stocks."
Disdain flashed across Anya's face, and then she hid it again.
"They're a part of this too," she said. "However, I suppose we should see what Zachary says."
"I'll speak with him tomorrow," said Hange. "We'll meet at 5."
"Good," said Anya. "From there, we'll decide what's next for the Scout Regiment."

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