sefirin kiz

chapter 8

Nare opened her dairy. Its been a while but she did feel like she should start writing dairy again.

She put the date on and wrote. ' a ray of hope, I am discovering myself again. I am seeing things through a prism. I saw only sancar till now in Mugla, today I glimpsed gediz too.' She stopped when she wrote it. Remembered about the epic love story that Gediz narrated to her, then she thought about how happy were Gediz and Sancar together. They were friends and partners. And now! I have separated them forever. She closed the dairy and tuck the pen in.

She walked over to the bed and pulled the blanket over her and tried to sleep. Her way of shutting the world away.

Gediz stayed away at bodrum and visited for a day every fortnight. He would be very distant. He would talk to her in the night before going to bed. He kept to himself. He was not the same Gediz she knew. Refika had sensed it though, she did taunt her that her son was away and distant because of her. Nare just ignored the comment.

Nare was slipping into depression. She was lonely and isolated. Perhaps, she took solace in the room. Running away was not an option. Melek was here. She felt at peace in being in the same town. She can catch her glimpse anytime she wants. In all this kerkuffle, Melek was the worst sufferer. She couldn't dare tell the girl, that the fault lied in the fate of the mother, whom she was born to. The beautiful girl who breathed life into her mother, and continued to do till today was suffering too. She wiped her tears. She sometimes cried till none were left to shed.

What was more disconcerting? Being married to gediz or being married forcefully or being away from melek or cheathing sancar. Sancar once told her she was like an earthquake, he was so right. I ruined everything. Everyone around still is trying to put the pieces back together.

Next day morning Muge knocked at her door, she asked permission to come in. Nare, was lying on her bed, eyes red from crying, it was another night which she spent crying and blaming herself. Muge said 'Nare, you don't look good at all'

'I am alright Muge'

'no...no...Nare, do you want to share what's hurting you?'

'muge, you know it all'

'if you share your thoughts, it will be good. Sometimes its good to talk'

Nares eyes welled up again, ' I don't know what to say...'

'let me call gediz, he is there busy you are alone here' she picked up her phone to call Gediz 'muge please leave it...he is busy...'

'what busy'

She called Gediz 'hello'

'hello muge, how are you?'

'I am fine. But what about you?'

'I am good, busy! Tell me why did you call me? Did mum do something?' he asked goadingly. Muge rolled her eyes 'no..its you this time'

'what did I do, I have stopped doing anything wrong' he gloated

'I think you should come here...when will you come'

'whenever you want?'

'today'

'as you wish..my sis. I will be there by evening'

'good' she cut the phone. Gediz kept the phone, but a little intrigued. He started the meeting back again.

Muge, said to Nare,' gediz would come tonight. Maybe you should go with him, it will be a good change for you'

'Muge, you shouldn't have called him..i am absolutely fine'

'anyone will look at you and will be pained and shocked. Nare I know its difficult but its not the end. You need to take care of yourself first and then fight. I know you and sancar are hurting, you are missing your daughter. But have you thought what their life will be without you. How will melek live without you? You haven't seen the girl for so long, gediz will come and go with him to see her. Come on get up go wash your face, I will get your breakfast' she nudged nare to get up.