December 4, 2023
9:30pm
I think I'm gonna drop out of college.
I hate it. I hate going to school and doing the work they want like a little worker bee. It makes me unhappy and I'm crying all the time. Hating myself for not being better.
But I don't know what to do. In my last year of high school every thing went down hill. Sure I graduated with a 3.8 gpa and honors but I lost interest in everything I love. I have no passion for art anymore, I don't talk to people at all, I stopped trying to fit into conversations even when I have something to say.
The only thing I still have is reading but reading is just a cover. I've always used it to hide. To pretend the world and my problems don't exist. I get lost in it and everything disappears. At least for a little while.
But then it all slams back into me as soon as I come out of it and I want to hide all over again. I'm stuck in this stupid rut I'm in and I want out. And my mind is going dark so I have to do something, at least try to.
I might go into the military. I don't know what branch or any. But I'm considering it. I never thought I could survive in the military. I cry easily. And the days where I want to not be here are hard. So I've always thought "no way. I could never do that. I won't make it." Now though I'm seriously considering it.
I'm gonna take an asvab practice test and go from there.
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Are you planned out for the future or just living day by day?
YOU ARE READING
F it this is my personal journal now
Teen FictionBasically my diary kinda U no like I no give a fuck *haha I realized I spelled journal wrong in the title had it as 'jurnal' wtf🤣 Side-side note: Also I have like 3 moods for all dis the "Fuck all of you and what you think", the "I am sad and de...
