Hunger

Austin: The Agreement

Wednesday morning dawns cold and drizzly; a fine, silver sheet of mist covers the van's windshield. The sun has barely risen, and the light is the bluish gray color of a bruise. I'm parked in front of a Lowe's and waiting for the usual crowd of workers to trickle in.

I stayed up half the night last night with Pixie. She's a little better since Saturday but not where I'd like her to be. I keep forcing her to swallow the children's cough, cold, and flu medicine that I stole. According to the thermometer, her fever is still pretty low, but it's not where I want it. I wouldn't work today, but we need the money. I've worked as much as I can this week because I'm hoping to splurge on a cheap motel room tonight to get Pixie out of the weather. A cold front has swept through the last couple of days, bringing rain and fall temperatures.

I hear her coughing now, which tells me she's awake.

"Hey," I smile, bringing her a surprise cup of hot chocolate I bought at the McDonald's next door.

"Hot chocolate!" Pixie squeaks happily.

"Yep, just for you. And cereal." I pour her a Styrofoam bowl of dry Lucky Charms. We hardly ever have milk because I have no way to refrigerate it. "Don't drink the hot chocolate yet, though. I need to take your temperature."

She opens her mouth and I stick the thermometer under her tongue and hold it there until it beeps. 101.5 degrees. She's still hovering in the danger zone. If I get work today, we'll have enough for the room. The thought of a real bed and a hot shower tonight should give me the strength to get through today. I'm not feeling so great myself, and I figure I must be coming down with whatever Pixie's got.

"Do I have to stay here today?" she asks, slurping the hot chocolate loudly.

"Yep. Sorry. It's rainy outside, so you can't go to the park," I tell her, "But I'll be back in a few hours, and tonight we'll get a place to stay. You can watch TV and take a bath."

"Really? A room?" she asks, her eyes shining.

"You need to get better," I explain, so she doesn't start thinking this will be a regular thing. "And that'll be easier in a nice warm room."

"Can we stay there for a long time? Like a week?" she asks hopefully.

I shake my head sadly. "Not for long. Just until you're a little better."

"When will we get to Disneyworld, Austin?"

"It'll be awhile, Pixie."

"How long?"

I sigh. "A long, long time."

"Can you read to me before you go?" she asks.

"I don't really have time, Pixie. I gotta get over there before everyone else or I won't get hired."

"Please. Pretty please. Just one story."

I run my fingers through my hair. "Okay, fine. One story. That's it."

She digs into her pink backpack full of the toys and books she took from Mom's house. "This one," she says.

"Guess How Much I Love You," I sigh, "We read this one all the time."

"I like the bunnies!"

The story is pretty simple, more for little babies than kids Pixie's age, but she doesn't have a lot of books. The plot, if you can call it that, consists of a parent bunny asking a little kid bunny to guess how much they love them. And they both keep trying to outdo each other with bigger and bigger examples. It finally ends with the parent bunny saying they love the kid to the moon and back, but it's after the kid's already asleep so they never hear it. That's Pixie's favorite part.