Hunger

Austin: Snow

I can't imagine going back to the way things were before I met Rory, before I kissed her, before I knew what it was like to wake up beside her. I know I'm risking everything I've planned, but I can't walk away from Rory. I'm in love with her, and as much as that terrifies me, it's also the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.

December comes and, with it, Christmas. For a little extra cash I help Blanca decorate Rory's house and set up the Walsh's photo-ready Christmas tree in the living room. Pixie helps too and is bubbling over with excitement because she's never had a real Christmas. I just hope I can somehow pull together enough cash to get her some presents. I can't have her thinking that Santa hates her just because I'm broke.

I've made about five hundred bucks since the night our money got stolen, not as much as I'd like. I look around the Walsh's house while I help Blanca with the Christmas decorations and it briefly crosses my mind to just swipe a few of their electronics and pawn them for some big cash... but because I care about Rory, I could never do that. Maybe I could have a couple months ago but not now.

One night while sitting in the van together after Rory's closing shift, she drops two pieces of paper on my lap.

"What are these for?" I ask.

"My show. The Nutcracker on Christmas Eve. It looks like I won't be able to do the Sugarplum Fairy role, but I don't mind. It was hard enough rehearsing this year after everything that happened."

I stare at the tickets. We're in box seats. I completely forgot I told Rory we would go.

"I still don't have anything to wear," I say.

"I'll take you shopping. You can pay me back after you get your own place."

I look at her skeptically. She leans over the arm of her seat and kisses my cheek, trying to butter me up with a sweet smile. "Pleeeease. You can't not go, not after I got you these great seats!"

I don't like the idea of Rory buying stuff for me, but I guess it's my only choice if I want to see her dance. Plus, I figure I can take advantage of the time without Pixie around to buy presents.

Blanca agrees to babysit Pixie that Saturday, and we take Rory's Mustang to the mall, which is completely packed. Seth goes along with us, mostly because Rory refuses to let him out of her sight these days. He's a quiet, sullen shadow trailing behind us and looking over his shoulder every five minutes.

I already have some decent jeans I can wear so I find a white button up shirt for cheap (I insist on paying half), and then we head to the toy store for Pixie. I have about twenty bucks that I've put aside for Pixie's presents, which I know won't buy much but at least she'll have something to open on Christmas. The first thing I see is this Elsa doll that you can sing along with. I know she'd love it, but it's thirty bucks. Rory notices it at the same time I do.

"Oh my God, she would go crazy over this!" she exclaims.

"I can't spend that much," I say with frustration. I'm so damn sick of never having money.

"Let me buy it. I need to get her something anyway," Rory says, reaching for the box.

"I can't let you do that. I owe you too much already."

She raises her eyebrows. "I wasn't aware you were keeping a tab. It's for Pixie. Don't you want to see her face when she opens this? How about you pay half and pay me the rest once you get settled?"

I think about the fact that I never got what I wanted when I was little. I was jealous of every single kid I knew at school, always bragging about their new toys, electronics, and phones. Pretty soon Pixie will know what that's like, so why can't I give her this one thing? Why can't I just swallow my pride and let Rory make her Christmas great?