Checkmate (BxB) ✅

1: chess games & soccer boys

Elias

I furrow my eyebrows as I stare at the chessboard. The redhead in front of me anxiously nibbled her nails. I checked my watch. I could finish this game off in a couple of moves and then I'd be able to leave chess club early. And walk past the soccer boys trainings.

When I say the boys, I mean Axel. My long-time secret crush. Unrequited of course. He's straight as can be. Although that didn't really mean anything considering everyone thought I was straight too. Actually no, they probably thought I was some asexual nerd. Well, I might be a nerd, but I was a gay one.

The point being that handsome, buff and outgoing jocks like Axel who flirted with ten different girls at the high school parties which I was rarely (if ever) invited too were most definitely straight. And well, if they weren't, then they were definitely not into my geeky self, complete with glasses and perfect attendance to chess club.

I sighed, moved my chess pieces deftly and soon said "Checkmate" to the disappointed redhead. She sighed but gave me her hand to shake.
"Good game," she smiled faintly before getting up and leaving our table.

I awkwardly returned her smile and also got up. I grabbed my jacket and slung my schoolbag onto my shoulder before exiting the classroom we used for chess club, waving to the teacher supervisor as I went.

My feet moved as if they had a mind of their own and soon I found myself walking the long way out of school, along the sports oval. And the soccer team training. Automatically my eyes searched for the familiar handsome athlete. I found his golden-brown hair immediately, ruffled up by frequent hand brushing and the effort of the sport. My eyes slid over his tanned skin and those pink lips, the way his thick eyebrows were furrowed in concentration over his beautiful bronze eyes as he skilfully dribbled the soccer ball and the way his sculpted biceps flexed visibly thanks to the tank top jersey he was wearing.

I bit my lip as I felt a rush of blood both up to my cheeks and down to my groin. I could never get tired of watching Axel play sport, unaware if my wandering eyes behind my tortoiseshell glasses. I couldn't really understand how none of the other soccer players had called me out as being gay, even if it was just as a joke. I wasn't that inconspicuous at hiding my stare directed to Axel.

My high school was pretty conservative but it wasn't as if they hated gays. Sure there were some homophobes but you didn't get beaten up for being gay. Most of the time (unless you try to hit on one of the insecure jocks). No, instead what happened was that you were shunned. Avoided. Ignored. Overlooked. Literally like either you had transformed into a ghost or you suddenly had a highly contagious case of HIV. Actually, most straight boys probably believed that the majority of gay boys had HIV although that was a myth.

Due to this, only a small amount of boys and girls were outwardly LGBT in my school. They sat by together in a corner of the cafeteria during lunches and basically did everything together. They were really unlucky in classes where they didn't have any of their own friends as then it became obvious that the rest of the student body treated them like the plague.

I was gay too but no one knew. I was already shunned enough for being a nerd, coming out would destroy the rest of my credibility. I would be the lowest of the low. And while some people might think that at least no one was getting beaten up, sometimes I think to myself that a good old fight which landed the homophobes in the principal's office for a lesson would be much more beneficial then being ignored and treated like trash.

I guess I was a bit of a coward for preferring the easy way. A coward for trying to not stick out any more then I already do. A coward for not accepting to myself that I like dicks. And that I've always had. Since junior camp.

A/N: first chapter done!!
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