Faking Us ✔️

eighteen

Cassie
~

Mom wasn't her usual self, tonight. She barely ate the lasagna Dad had cooked for us. She glanced around the room as if something terrible was about to happen. Sometimes she will hallucinate. It's been like this since junior high. That's when she was first diagnosed.

Dad tried to calm her down when it was time for bed, but she wouldn't listen. She wanted to argue and make up this horrible scenario of my dad having an affair. Her brain makes shit up all the time. I can't be mad at her. We both can't. It's the illness.

I couldn't sleep even though my body was mentally and physically exhausted. I tossed and turned for an entire hour. There was no way I could fall asleep right now. So, that's why I called Luca.

I just wanted to be around him.

He kept a tight grip on the wheel as the wind picked up outside. A new front alignment is what his truck needs, but he won't be getting in touch with Anderson's cousin any time soon. Everyone knows how dirty he can be. Even to his own family. Such a rip off.

An abandoned field grabs our attention with tall grass that wraps around a deserted gate. Normally, places like this would freak me out, but not with Luca. Once he pulls into the gravel, he parks his truck and keeps the heat running. I mentally thank him for that.

I rub my arms up and down from the chill running down my spine. He must have noticed by handing me his Letterman.

"Here."

I want to shake my head no and tell him that I'm fine, but I'm literally freezing as goosebumps appear on both arms and legs. His letterman somehow fits almost perfectly. It's slightly big but I could see myself wearing this more than once.

"Thank you."

He smiled. "You're welcome."

I suddenly clear my throat. "Why are you so nice to me?"

"What?"

"Marcus was never this sweet to me."

His eyes fall down to his ripped jeans. A few fingers grab at the torn string. "He never deserved someone as sweet as you."

I look the other way once my cheeks turn red. "I'm sweet?"

It was like I asked a stupid question.

"You're the kindest person I have ever met, and I still don't know how you ended up with him." The bitterness pours out of his mouth, but I don't blame him.

"I wonder the same thing."

He leans over to crank the heat down.

"He was the only one who showed me any attention." I say breaking the silence.

"That is not true."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

We get quiet for a moment before Luca says, "He wouldn't let me around you, Cassie."
He's right.

"I know."

"Then why be with someone like that?"

Now I'm getting annoyed.

"I don't know." I shook my head, looking back at him. "I just was."

He nods, finding my eyes again. "Can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I think you stayed with him for so long, because you felt stuck with him."

I swallowed hard before tugging his jacket tighter around me. "You're probably right."
The wind picks up, slowly rocking his truck back and forth. I keep my glance out the window as I stare off into the distance. For some reason, I feel extremely sad. I don't like to open up to people... not even Marcus, but I find myself slipping lately.

"Can I ask you something?" I ask cautiously.
"Yes."

"Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't here anymore?"

The words hurt to even speak.

"What do you mean?"

"Life is a bitch." I laugh sarcastically looking at him. "I'm exhausted."

His face echoes the truck. "Not everyone has the perfect life."

"That's for damn sure."

Luca leans back against the cold leather to rest his head. "Yes, I do."

I turn in my seat toward him, placing my legs under my butt. "You what?"

"Wonder what it would be like if I wasn't here anymore."

"Because of your parents?" I noticed the way he tensed at the mention of them and quickly shook my head. "I'm sorry I brought them up."

"It's okay," he lets out a deep breath. "But yes. I sometimes wish I was with them wherever they are. I just hope they are at peace."

I find myself wishing he would look at me, but his eyes stay focused out the window. I reached across the console and grabbed his hand.

"They are Luca, you have to know that."

He squeezes my hand back to look at me. "It's hard for me to believe that, but I still love my life and couldn't imagine leaving my grandma behind."

I smiled. "I understand. You're very lucky to have her."

"I know," he says, meeting my hazel eyes. "Why do you ask that?"

"Because living the same life over and over again gets old. I just need a break."

"A break from being popular? Having everything you could possibly want? Parents still alive?"

Is he being serious?

My cheeks grow warm again but not from blushing. "Popularity isn't everything, Luca," I let go of his hand. "I can't believe you out of all people would think so little of me."

"I didn't mean—"

"Just drive me home."

• • •

Don't forget to vote and comment. ❤️