Faking Us ✔️

thirty five

Luca
~

His hands grab her waist to bring her closer to him while his lips slam onto hers, letting her kiss him back. I blink repeatedly as if my mind is playing tricks on me. Am I really seeing this right now? The cup full of punch is thrown on the wet grass and I quickly turn away, taking my misery with me.

"Luca, wait."

I hear Cassie call out my name, but instead I ignore her. Not giving her my undivided attention. She doesn't deserve that right now. I don't even try to go back into the Auditorium either. My feet wander off to the lockers and I quickly lean against mine, falling slowly down onto the ground and pulling my knees to my chest.

"Luca," she whispers as I hear her heels clank against the tile floor, coming closer to me. "It's not what you think."

"Then you tell me Cassie," I stood up on my feet in rage. Feeling so defeated and unwanted. Just like before. "Tell me what it is you're doing then."

She crosses her arms, rubbing them up and down. "He is drunk and kissed me, what you think you saw didn't happen. I was caught off guard."

My mind races on what I should believe. Did I think she would ever kiss him again? I don't know but seeing them together made my stomach turn. I hated the way his body was close to hers. It should have been me.

"I just need to know." I tell her softly, staring into her hazel eyes. They are full of deep sorrow and uncertainty.

The light brown in her eyes pulled me in deep, so deep, that I'm afraid this isn't going to end well. She studies me before answering. "Know what?"

"Our deal we made; do you really pretend to like me?"

She looks down at her sparkly gold shoes and then back up at me.

"Do you?"

I rub the back of my neck frustratingly. "Cassie, you should know by now how I feel about you. How I have felt since middle school, I still feel the same way I did back then."

"I know," she whispers.

"Then why can't you accept that?"

"I do accept that. I can see the way you look at me every day. The way you give me butterflies. The way you stare into my eyes until shivers run down my spine. The way I can't stop thinking about you." She takes a deep breath until she is able to find the right words to say. "And especially the way Marcus's lips didn't feel like yours."

My body turns to get the image of the two of them out of my mind. But the fact that she hated the kiss and wanted it to be me instead gives me some sort of relief.

"You really felt that way?"

"No," she corrects me. "That's how I feel."
I swallow hard as I try to process the words that spill from her mouth. "Then tell me this was fake. This whole thing."

She shakes her head while leaning her back against the locker. "I can't."

By this point, I stand in front of her, cupping her cheeks into my hand. Hearing her breathing increase as I'm inches away from her mouth.

"Why can't you?"

"We're not kids anymore Luca. I am not the same girl you met back then."

My thumbs rub against her soft lips. "Yes, you are. You will always be my Cassie." She pulls away from me, making my hands fall down to my sides.

"I don't belong to anyone, Luca."

"You belong with me. Don't you see?"
I look into her eyes once more before I make my final decision, it's clear that she will never give us a chance.

This whole thing was a lie.
It was fake.
It was all in my head.
And I'm tired of arguing.

I quickly run my fingers through my hair and leave her standing alone in the hallway.

"Luca!" she calls out, making me turn around slowly. "Why do you care so much about me? Why is this so important to you? Is this deal that worth it? Is popularity that special to you?"

Is she being serious?

She really thinks I want this fame from everyone?

Damnit, I want her.

"You still don't get it," I shake my head. "For someone so bright you can really be clueless."

She laughs. "Oh, so you're going to be ugly to me now?"

"I'm not trying to Cassie. This is just.... exhausting." I yelled.

"What is?" she yells back.

"It's exhausting how much I fucking love you."

Emptiness consumes her again.
And it definitely consumed me.

Her mouth falls open like she wants to say something, but she doesn't. Instead, she presses her lips into a hard line while she takes a few steps back.

I noticed tears building up in her eyes, but she quickly blinked them back to not let them fall. She doesn't want to see how it affected her.
But this is how she affects me.

"There," I hold out my arms while I take a few steps back myself, walking closer to the front door to leave. "Do you get it now?"

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