This is the kind of poems you all want to read,
A story of a little girl, a teenage, a young lady and a woman;
Aspiring to be liberated from an inherited mind ;
A mind full of stories and patterns that the brain refuses to swallow;
*****
This is t...
Where every internal dialogue is a battle of what's the worst that can happen
A Constant pit in the stomach keeps making me feel nauseous and unsounded
The glued pieces of my heart starts to crack again
And I start to drown in my overflowing rivers that's filled with my tears
Expecting that pain is just around the corner,
Because where all these new beginnings ever led me to?
The non ending dialogue between the heart and the mind, overthinking every detail, every word and every glanced I ever shared
Over analysing if I am too much, and if I am being clingy or boring to the core
If this is another attachment problem that I am going through
It hits me after going through healing process and found out I was the problem and not the victim
But why I still ride my mind for a whole two hours forgetting where to stop, redoing the same habitual ritual
Wondering When things are going to change
When what I start lasts for another day
Is my bruised heart will ever know light or happy ending again
I feel as if I am a broken mirror that will never become whole again
Is this how it feels to get used to pain until you think this is the natural state for you
How do I convince my brain, my heart, my mind and my soul to get on bored with me
Cuz am afraid I will be admired from afar only
And I am tired of pointing finger to people thinking they are the worst of evil that happened to me
I am tired of lurching trying to keep dead plants alive when what's left only was me
Why I can't seem to be enough in my eyes,
Till when I will keep letting my guards down to fit in
What to thread to go noticed and be the best
I am tired of being held captivated by the broken mixed characters that once was me
I am in the middle of the road but not much power to carry on, and too tired to go back
When am go to suffice myself and move forward with the plan
To be seen, worthy, loved, cared for and wanted to get of me more
Overthinking every life decision I have made and that brought me here
And who is this fragments I am seeing and look like me
Conflicted feelings, I hate and love everyone that approaches me
Wondering what will they think if they saw the behind the scenes of the scene I am displaying
Will they withstood me, or let go of me anyway
Is there a way to show the true side of me
Or life has gone mad that fakeness is the only reality that there is
I am trying but I seem to be stuck in the middle for a while, as if I slided in a rabbit hole
Thieves of peace I face every dawn where my mind is shattered to pieces of guilt and shame crowned with all kind of fears
I want to move forward, to change the road, to let others love me more and the most
I want to put my antennas to rest
And call peace whenever I feel worst
I want to be at ease whenever I start a new journey
What is the way to stop harassing myself, and live my days as a happy being
And understand that the only way to break the curse is to let all parts of me co-exist !
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Hello beautiful friends, hope you all doing well! It is spring and life is blooming again, let's hope for a better tomorrow where all our dreams sees light. Thank you for all of you who are reading and leaving supportive comments I so appreciate that. Bless you all 🌼
