BEING MARRIED TO MR ROCHESTER (COMPLETED)

The Day She Had Her First Kiss

La Bête Dans
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02/28/2016

EMILY

It's been a month since my "mother" resurfaced. Or rather resurrected. She was dead to me. For many years she has been. Abandoning me the way she did.

The twins were now three months. Time flies really. Luke and we're getting extremely close. We talked a lot and perhaps laughed more. He had such a wonderful sense of humor.

Something changed the day after Helena came. Luke was so much more open. We were practically inseparable. But he never came to my bed. After I had the children he never came and slept with me.

I still saw him looking at me with desire. Or maybe I could be wrong. He watched my lips closely whenever we were alone. I found myself thinking about intimate things with Luke.

It also did not help that I kept reading erotic books from the library. Of course Luke never saw. The books painted pictures in my head.

I found myself imagining Lukes fingers on the inside of my thighs. Kissing me, undressing me. When I snapped out of it I would be breathing hard and even sweaty.

I found myself constantly comparing my  sexual experience with the ones I read in the books. It seemed very enjoyable in the books. But my encounter with Luke was not like that. It was painful. I tried to forget but I could not.

What would be like a second time. Would he be gentle? Or just as hard as the first time. I shuttered at the thought.
~~

Tonight we were having dinner with Luke's parents. I could just tell it would be a night of amusement.

I was taken from my thought when Mrs Witty bought me a letter. Oh god not one more. My mothers has been writing me. I never opened any of the letters rather than burn them.

Did she really think writing some stupid letters , a few tears and saying sorry could make me forgive her. Could heal me. Could mend the gap left in my heart from the absence of her presence all these years. No! It was not enough.

I took the letter and walked to the fire to throw it in.

"Don't" I didn't need to look around to see that it was Luke.

"Why shouldn't I?" I whispered

"I watched you burnt the last six. You need to see what she has to say. You must be curious"

"Curious for what? All she's going to do is tell me lies to forgive her" I felt a familiar anger raising up.

Luke took the letter from my hands and read it.

"She's leaving day after tomorrow"

"Good riddance"

"She's begging to see you one last time. I think you should go"

"Why are you pushing this? For me to see her. She LEFT me. Abandoned me. She would rather someone to warm her bed than to love her daughter. Her only child! She's selfish. And if her wish is to see me before she goes then she can just go and died for all I care. I'm being the selfish one now for a change" I shouted at Luke. None of this was his fault.