Mrs. Holmes [Book III]

The Dream {Susanna}

Two Days before the Conference

Bright, Deep White surrounds me and I peer into it, searching for anything else in this expanse of pure white. It's not a blinding brightness, and is actually quite soothing to me. I take a few steps forward and look around again, "Am I... Dead?"

I don't think so though. I would have known how I died. I take another step and clear my throat, "Hello!?"

My voice echoes for a few seconds before, in response, the scene changes to a gently lit room with a white bassinet.

As soon as I recognize what it is, I hear cooing and babbling noises from it. Without hesitation I pad to the bassinet and find a newborn baby, wrapped loosely in a white blanket, with a full head of thick, dark hair. Their hair is actually deep chocolate brown, and their eyes, I realize, are the same violet-blue as mine.

When they see me cresting the edge of the bassinet, the baby reaches up and squirms, smiling and cooing still. I smile and pick them up, cradling them tenderly, "Hello, there. What are you doing here all alone?"

I rock them back and forth and just talk to them while they coo and even giggle at me. A while goes by and then the room suddenly goes completely dark, except for a cone of yellow light above me and the baby. I cradle them closer to my body, the sense of peace ebbing from my body.

The baby suddenly becomes silent and I look down, "Wait! No!" As they begin to turn cold and blue I try to revive them, "Hold on!" But not even the lifetime of experience and training can help me revive the tiny child. I burst into tears, "No..!"

Tick Tock Tick Tock...

I hear the ticking of a clock and then a dark figure materializes in front of me. I step back as it approaches, and cry out when it reaches for the baby, "No! You can't have them!"

"Time has run out."

"Leave them alone!" I jump back but the figure seizes the baby, and I strain to pull them away from our unknown opponent. But suddenly I can't control my limbs. One arm drops, then the other, and I fall to the floor as I watch the baby fade into darkness-

"No!"

I open my eyes in a cold sweat and blow out a feverish breath. Realizing it was all a dream, I turn my head into my pillow, hugging it tightly and letting myself take several shaky breaths. My hands take fistfuls of the fitted sheet, just to assure me that this is the real world. I peek at the clock on the nightstand. Three AM. Excellent.

Then I feel warmth snake around my hips and press into my body, "Susanna..?" Sherlock whispers into my ear, his voice laced with concern.

"Yes, Sherlock?"

"Did you have a nightmare, Love?"

I shake my head, "No."

"Then why would you start writhing and shouting No in your sleep?"

"It's fine, Sherlock," I try to brush him off but he turns me onto my back and reaches over me to turn on my lamp, propping himself up into a sitting position, "Sherlock..."

"Susanna, it was a nightmare. Why are you denying that?"

I look up at him, "Because it wasn't really a nightmare, Darling. It was just a dream."

"Then why were you shouting? Normal dreams do not distress you to the point where you're squirming around in bed, yelling and crying for someone to leave you and someone else alone."

"It wasn't a nightmare, Sherlock." He purses his lips but his blue eyes are soft. He runs his hand along my arm.

"Then what was this dream about? If we discuss it, it should not haunt you again."

I recall the dream. The baby had been my projection of what our child, mine and Sherlock's, would look like. Of course the baby would get Sherlock's chocolate hair- brown is a dominant allele to red-blonde. And blue eyes? That's a no brainer. We're both blue eyed recessive. But the baby had my eyes. Mine. A few more seconds and I realize that the dream was most likely my body trying to tell me that my biological clock is ticking. I won't have forever to have kids. I am getting older and so is Sherlock.

The recognition of this unconscious message makes my eyes sting with tears. Sherlock notices and frowns, "Love?" A single teardrop rolls down my cheek and without fail, he wipes it away, "What was your dream?"

"It wasn't as much a dream as it was a unconscious recognition."

"Of what?" I shake my head and immediately want to hide under the covers to cry, "Susanna, tell me. I am here for you to talk to. I want to know what stirred you awake." He cups my cheek.

I take a shallow breath, "Sherlock..."

"Yes?"

"Time's running out for me, Sherlock. I may not be able to-" My breath catches and I gulp back more tears, "I won't be able to have... to have..."

"Children? That's what the dream was about?" His tone, even though it's gentle and steady, is enough to send me over the edge I've been teetering on.

"Sherlock, I saw a baby! Our baby! They were perfect and I couldn't do anything to save them when that thing took it away!" I burst out and my arms cross over my face as I start sobbing, "Time is running out. Time may have run out by the time that- oh never mind! Just let me be, Sherlock..."

I turn over and cry into my pillow. A few seconds later, Sherlock lays back down and cuddles me from behind, post turning off the lamp. He doesn't say anything, just holds me as I cry myself back to sleep and leaves a few kisses on my neck and shoulder. Just before I blink out he whispers, "I know."

Thank you for reading!!