Her Majesty (gxg)

Chapter 14

The tightness in my chest was nothing compared to how hard I grasped the railing of the balcony before me. I couldn't breathe, my heart beat felt as if it had done disappeared along with any sanity I had left in my body. I could not comprehend- I would not comprehend the childish pet name that was spat at me moments ago.

"What did you call me?" The words left my mouth in a low tone.

I could hear her breathing heavily behind me. As if she were trying to decipher whether to hammer the nail further into the wood of what would be a rather emotional conversation.

"If there's one thing you should know about me, its that I don't play games with my past. It's buried deep in a graveyard of unwanted memories. I don't know what makes you think that you can just stand there and continue to play with my emotions like that. Just like you have been doing from the beginning of this marriage. I..." My ranting paused as I ran out of breath.

"Do you not believe me?" Genevieve's soft voice invaded my ears.

"... No. I don't. I don't want to and I won't." I admitted.

"I didn't know it was you before tonight, I would have told you soo..."

"Stop lying to me!" I screamed as my eyes created rivers down my face. "I was put through so much pain, physically and emotionally. All for you to just waltz your way into my life as you did, then sit there and claim to be the whole reason for it all... "

     I couldn't continue. I broke down harder than I ever thought I could. So many emotions swarmed me all at once as I held my head in my hands. I wanted to be left alone, but at the same time, I didn't want to be out of fear of what other dark past events would surface due to her dragging up this one.
Her hands slipped around my waist and pulled me around, into her embrace. I wanted to fight her off. I wanted to throw her off the balcony actually but I was too weak to do either. I knew this conversation was nowhere near finished whether she be telling the truth or not, but the pounding in my head from the crying made it too painful to continue.

     I woke up the next morning with what felt like another hangover. I rolled over to find the bed empty and the suitcases packed. The running water from the bathroom sounded genuinely inviting, but I was nowhere near ready to look my past in the eyes.
     My mind had been ripped apart along with different emotions I now refused to show again. I thought I had trained myself to let other's remarks bounce off of me like a rubber ball, but when someone from your past forces nostalgia down your throat in the worst of ways, there's only so much you can do to keep a hold on the cap of your bottled up pain. Especially when that someone was the person you were supposed to fall in love with. Someone you already did fall in love with.
     The water stopped as I came down from my emotional high. I began to pound the same words over and over again in my head as I watched her damp body emerge from the bathroom. It won't hurt if you don't let it.
As I watched her dress, pieces of the broken puzzle that were lost long ago made their way back into place. I could see her now. Those same velvet brown eyes looked just as youthful as they did all those years ago. She was telling the truth, but I wouldn't let her know that I believed her. It was one of those too good to be true moments. I learned young that the more you love something, the harder it is when you lose it. My heart can take any more of that.
     Her soft humming sent chills over me as I closed my eyes. How I didn't recognize the melody before left me dumbfounded. Vivvi used to hum the tune all the time. How I used to long to hear that song again and now that I do I can't stand it. I detest the fact that she can just push her emotions aside so easily while I'm stuck here drowning in my own thoughts. It's not fair.
I felt her slip beneath the sheets, bringing herself closer to me. She snaked her arm around my waist hesitantly, testing to see how I would react. Once comfortable, she relaxed next to me as I kept my eyes closed. I focused hard on the back of my eyelids, repeating my words again and again. It won't hurt if you don't let it.

"Aly..." She whispered my name softly into my ear.

She's doing this to tease me. She wants me to fall back into her arms again and let her play my mind and heart like a fiddle.

"Aly..." I felt her hand slide up against the side of my face.

All this is going to do is hurt you. She will sit there and manipulate every thought that will ever cross your mind again, Aless. All she's ever going to do is hurt you.

"Aless."

     Oh, so now she wants to be stern with me! I don't care. She going to leave me again. I know she will. She's done it before and she'll do it...

     How is it possible she can make my mind go blank as soon as she places her lips on mine. I can feel myself hovering over a threshold, not being able to step in or out. I didn't respond to the kiss, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't want more of it. I don't think I've ever been so conflicted in my life. You would think I'd be happy. In the end, I did get to marry the one person I always wanted to. However, there's so much more that doesn't add up. So many questions left unanswered that I'm not even sure she would know the answer to.

"We need to go down to the shooting range," Genevieve said.

     I nodded my head and without looking at her, not even once, I grabbed the clothes she left out for me and headed to the bathroom. Once inside I locked myself in. I gave myself a good five minutes to let the last of my tears silently fall from my eyes and onto my cheeks. I sighed deeply as I combed through my matted hair.
     After dressing, I stepped out of the bathroom and exited the room straight away to avoid any more attempt of conversation from Genevieve. I can't believe she still wanted to go through with this stupid match between her and Kara. All I wanted to do is go home and sleep. By myself that is.

Down in the shooting range, not far from the courtyard, I walked up to Killian who was focused on Kara.

"She really doesn't know what she's doing." He said.

I watched as the slender girl fought with the strap around her torso that contained her arrows.

"It appears not, dear cousin," I said trying to sound somewhat humorous.

Killian eyed me up and down. He was one of the people who could always tell if I was off my game for whatever reason.

"You okay, Aless?" Killian asked.

"Just feeling a little under the weather." I lied.

If it were a different time and place I would have sought comfort in him, but now was definitely not a good idea.
Genevieve made her way down the stone path I had taken to where we stood. Her hair was pulled back out of her face so that it wouldn't get in her way. Tight leather hugged her body, making her look casual yet daring. Unlike Kara's uneducated self, Genevieve had her arrows strapped tight and in place.
I turned my attention towards Lady LarVinian who was chatting nonsense into my aunt and uncle's ears. How I wished Maxwell wouldn't have had that last minute showcasing to attend. He's going to be so jealous he missed this match.

"Do you think she'd be good in battle?" Killian asked, drawing my attention away from my lonesomeness.

"About as useful as a dragon without wings," I responded.

Aunt Katheryne began explaining how the small competition would take place. I watched as she pointed to two targets that were yards away from us. Basically whoever made the highest score using three arrows won.
     Genevieve had an overly confident look on her face while Kara still seemed to be struggling with her strap. I giggled lowly to myself as the girl who described herself with having talent made a complete fool of herself.

     "Maybe you should go help your girlfriend," I whispered to Killian.

     "Maybe you should take an arrow to the ass." He sassed back.

     "Alright girls, ready when you are. Take your time and remember, this is just for fun!" Aunt Katheryne said.

     Genevieve nodded and reached behind her, grabbing one of the feathered arrows. Quickly, as Kara struggled to grab hers, Genevieve hooked the back of the arrow onto the string of the bow. With a deep breath, she lifted the bow in front of her. The bow bent as she pulled the arrow back, her dainty fingers meeting her lips. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. Then, with a sharp exhale, she sent the arrow flying high and fast.