He Taught Me How To Find Myself

05: Giving Up📮

"In suffering we find our truest selves."
- Jesie Burton

Langa and I talk all day, everyday. Since the July holidays are coming up, we have a lot planned.

Charmaine came to my house a few weeks ago and my dad liked her, the problem was my mom, she doesn't think she's worthy to be my friend because she's 'cheap'.

Peter and I haven't really talked for a while and I'm okay with that. I have to meet up with him today and clear up my non-existent schedule for the day.

Peter♡: I'll send Mr Matthews to pick you up today in 15 minutes. Dress appropriately.

Me: ok

I took a quick shower and wore a pair of skinny jeans and a Vans T-shirt I had bought with Charmaine a few days ago. She also introduced me to sneakers.

I had changed my hairstyle and decided on box braids. It was my first time and a week later, they still hurt.

I waited in the living room for Mr Matthews to arrive. My dad walked in and made himself a cup of coffee.

"You look great honey. I'm glad you're doing this whole teenage stuff but then, don't you think you're taking it a bit too far now?" he asked as he looked at me skeptically.

"Oh come on dad, what's the worst I can do?" I said as I laughed at a meme Charmaine sent me on WhatsApp.

"As long as you're happy. Just remember, we're going to the president' s party and you have to put this side of you away. I'm sorry sweety" he said as he came to sit next to me.

I felt tears burning my eyes so I quickly walked out on my dad telling him that Mr Matthews is outside. I'm sure he knew I was lying but I can't live this life when I'm constantly reminded that it's not me.

Me: Can we talk? Are you free?

Langa: 2 question marks in the same sentence. So unlike you. what's wrong?

Me: Let's meet up at the park in 10

Langa: Sure.

I put Peter aside and decided to take a walk to the park. I arrived about 30 minutes later but I found Langa in the bench still waiting.

He was wearing his work uniform and he had his earphones on.

I'm guessing he felt my presence because he removed his earphones and stood up quickly.

"Uhm.. I felt you before I even saw you. Creepy right?" He asked

"No not all" I said. He looked at me and I just cried on the spot. He must have thought I was crazy. He just looked at me and handed me a tissue.

I blew my nose with no shame and threw it away.

"Come here" he said.

I walked towards him and sat next to him on the bench. He put his arm around my shoulder and I felt relieved.

"Why me?" I asked him