COLLATERAL LOVE

CHAPTER 20

LONDIWE

Cars are parked outside the yard, lot of cars for that matter I wonder who do they belong to because I've never seen them before. The tent is also erected, and it seems like the cow have already been slaughtered judging by the watery street. Tomorrow is my father's burial I haven't come here the whole week, but Steven was attending on my behalf such a sweetheart. I step out of my car, and head straight inside the yard without greeting anyone, I get inside the house, and some of the rich cousins are busy walking around the kitchen doing nothing, while the old women are busy chopping veges I guess they're for family, and making tea for those women outside who came to help with the veges, and the church members. My parents are Roman Catholic Church members, and I have my own church too. Esethu never bothered herself with church.

"If you ain't doing anything get out of the kitchen as in right now you're suffocating the busy women, out right now!" They all stand up without uttering any word, and exit the kitchen giving me nasty looks. They know me better than to spew nonsense my way, I will deal them accordingly. "Voetsek maarn, nadina nina!"

"Hhayi hhayi, you can't just come here, and start throwing your weight around whereas you never set your foot here the whole week. Who do you think you are?" Zanele my mother's younger sister says stepping inside the kitchen she has a swab on her left shoulder, argh, as if she's helping around.

Me: "Well, in case you've forgotten this is my parents' house," she laughs once, and another expression fills her round face.

Her: "Your what? The very same parents you've neglected? You couldn't even come and comfort your mother in her time of need, or you think that just because your husband was the one attending, you told yourself that he's attending on your behalf?" I roll my eyes at her.

Me: "Yes. My husband was attending on my behalf, him being here doesn't necessarily mean that I was supposed to be here, and besides I had far more important things to do than to come here. So, if you don't mind may you please excuse me, I need to see my mother and see how she's holding up and don't you dare bore me."

Her: "You are very rude Londiwe, and with that attitude of yours, and the hatred you have towards your family will bring you nothing, but regrets."

Me: "Has it brought you regrets already seeing that you hate her too? I think not, until you start having regrets don't tell me nonsense." She clicks her tongue as I push past her. Who the hell does she think is? Just because she showed face the whole week doesn't make her a great sister to my mother, she hates her to the core it's no secret. I step inside my mother's bedroom, and I find my mother sitting on the mattress mourning his evil husband together with some women I don't know, and some of our family members. They all avert their eyes to my direction, and they are really not pleased with my presence currently. I don't even bother greeting them.

"Well, well, well. Who would've thought that one day you would be sitting on a mattress mourning your evil husband?" I fold my arms on my chest, and look at them as some women start whispering. "That's all you know. Gossip old as you are you still entertain gossip, when will old you old ladies grow up?" No one answers me, my mother isn't even acknowledging my presence she just covers her face with the blanket, and looks the other way round. Sighs. I'm about to step out of the bedroom when I bump into my uncle Sfiso, he is very strict, and very respected in this family.

"Londiwe." I give him a nod. "The body is here MaNtuli." He tells my mother, and walk out. My mother sits upright tears welling up in her eyes, she blinks, and they roll down. I swallow the lump forming in my throat, the lump that makes you want to cry I will not cry for this cruel man, I refuse.

A hymn is heard from the outside as more people start crying, I hurry out of the bedroom, and go and stand outside. Their cries are very painful, and real. The body is finally inside the house, and when my mom screamed I couldn't help it, but cry too, and the song is not making things any easier for me. My dad might've been evil, but he loved us deeply, he loved us more than our mother did. If ever we wanted something we would ask him, and he will do it without even complaining unlike my mother. I might hate him for not standing up for Esethu, but deep down in my heart I love him, and it breaks my heart that he died without us making peace. Here I was mad at him on behalf of Esethu, the very same Esethu who doesn't try reaching out to any of us, her family. I understand that they might've hurt her by pushing her away, but still. In fact why am I even worrying her? Why am I stressing myself, and hating my parents because of her? I'm sure she's living her best life wherever she is, and there is no way that she doesn't know that our father have passed on. News like these travel fast around here, plus the last time I heard she was at Middelburg just 45 minutes drive to here at Witbank, argh. I need to stop worrying about her, and focus on bettering my relationship with my mother. But I don't think she will forgive me considering the fact that I put her little one in hospital. Sighs. It's best if I leave I will come here tomorrow in a good state of mind.