Afternoons

basket of makeup

I lay in bed just thinking of what my life has come to. The thing is, what exactly is my life? I don't have any plans for my future. My mom always forced me into something since i was little but now- i don't want anything.
The pressure being applied on me is too much.
I unfortunately woke up before my alarm went off; the children.
They are all still asleep so i take my chance to get everything prepared. I get out of bed lazily.
I wonder how morning people do it...

Not long after I'm cooking breakfast do the children come down. I'm guessing that they couldn't find me in my room so they came down.

"Goodmorning, Alex," Macy yawns.

"Goodmorning," i mumble as i set a plate of food in front of her.

She thanks me and begins eating. I won't be here for her much longer. I wonder if she sees me like the sister i never saw in her.
I know, it's pretty fucked up to say but i can't bring myself to look at this kid like my sibling when i was the one who raised her. I wouldn't say i see her as my own either, it's just a kid i saw grow up.

When i get all the children ready for school, i head out as quickly as possible. I don't want any distractions for today. I also noticed that my mom's car wasn't in the garage. I shake my head in disapproval. What a coward. She runs away from her problems.
I'm actually starting to wonder if the "adopted" children are actually her biological kids. I mean, i don't see my mom's faces in their's but maybe their dad's genes were stronger and that's why she decided to keep the rest of them.
What if I-
That sounds sickening.

As i walk into school, i feel my stomach twist. It's the worst feeling ever. Maybe, just maybe today Eleanor will show up. She was acting weird yesterday and it hurt me a bit. Actually no.
Why would it hurt? It's not like if i cared.

"The wheels on the bus go, round and round! Round and round! Round and Round! The wheels on the bus go round and round! All through the...TOWN!!!"

Sometimes i feel like crying by just thinking of the girl. I ask myself daily, why am i still friends with the girl. But i somehow don't regret meeting her at all.

"You're a pain in the ass," i comment as she walks beside me.

Her hand finds it's way into mine. People in the hallway glare at Zoe as we walk by. I obviously glare back at them.

Zoe is for me to bother and scold.

Zoe, of course, doesn't mind. She is always in her own world full of...I'm not so sure. The girl is weird, what can i say?

I walk her to her first class. I kiss her cheek and hug her quickly before leaving her.

Classes were boring, perusal. That's until lunch. I get yanked into an empty hallway by an unknown person. I try to push the person away but i get pushed into an empty classroom.
When i turn around i come face to face with Taylor. I wanted to yell at her, asking why she would do something like this.
But i couldn't bring myself to yell at someone like her.

Today she was wearing a skirt, making those beautiful legs show.
My thoughts were stopped as I felt Taylor's hands go up and down my arms.

"Hey," I whisper.

"Hey," she rests her forehead on mine.

She is taller than me so she has to lean down. I like tall girls but Eleanor isn't that tall herself but I still like- no, I don't.
Gosh, again with her invading my mind. Eleanor is always inside of my thoughts.
Thankfully they are interrupted by Taylor's lips against mine.

Honestly, Taylor is just a distraction at the moment. I have no feelings towards her whatsoever. Sure, she's gorgeous, but i don't have any information about her, only her name.
And I'm totally in for just distractions.
When Taylor and I are done, we step out the classroom one by one.