Afternoons

unexpected

Eleanor and I just held each other for what seemed like forever. By the time we decided to sit back down on her bed, she was already wiping herself. As disgusting as it sounds, I found it cute.
I'm not sure how I'm feeling at the moment. When I thought I was invited over, I didn't expect a screaming match from one end.

"Who knew you were a screamer," I joke.

I receive a, somewhat, hard slap on my thigh. It's like Eleanor actually wanted to hit me so bad at that instant.
What I noticed was that her ears turn red when she gets mad. Again, cute. As much as I don't want to like her, Eleanor is always attracting me to her.

Eleanor pushes me slightly. "Get out of my house...and contact me when you get your shit together," she whispers.

I look at her. I'm not sure if she was kidding but that felt like a slap to the face. It's not the first time i hear that line. Zoe has said that many times. Well not completely. She doesn't tell me to get out but she does tell me to get my shit together, from time to time.
Example, the day I went out with Taylor.
Zoe said there was supposed to be another girl sitting next to me.

I get up from Eleanor's bed, only to be pulled back down. My head is spinning. She tells me to do one thing and now she is changing it all up. I feel a headache coming in.

"Yeah...that's how I feel whenever I'm with you. You confuse the shit out of me too, Alexina. But if you know what you want then tell me. Whatever your final decision is, I'll be okay with."

I know what I want. I just can't bring myself to say it. But if I actually want to do something new with my life I'll be having to make an effort.

I turn a bit to face Eleanor. Now is the time. If I don't do it now then later will never come.
I bring my hand up to her face. I trace her jawline and then i glide my thumb across her bottom lip.
I unintentionally lick my own lips.

"I-" I close my eyes. I can't say it. It's taking all of my strength not to back down.

"I like you...a lot," i finally sigh out. There! I did it, what now?

"That doesn't tell me much," Eleanor says softly.

"Well what do you want to hear? I want you? I think that's pretty fucking obvious. I just don't know how to do all of this. This is new to me, Eleanor," I whine.

She grabs my face with both of her soft, warm hands. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear. That you want me...and you should know by now, that I won't rush you into anything."

The whole time she was speaking, all I could stare at was her plump lips. I wanted to kiss them so badly. I wanted to do so many things with her. I want to be able to take her to dates, to go shopping and pick out cute outfits with her even though I don't like shopping but I would do anything just to make her happy.
Because that's what I want. But I'm scared of commitment.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"For what?"

I shrug. "For understanding."

It wasn't long before I left her house. Her biggest sister had heard the yelling and she immediately stopped me in the hallway once I got out.
She slammed me to the wall and began to throw questions at me.
Eleanor, fortunately, stepped in and stopped it.
To say the least, I made it out alive.

When I got back home I found out dad had left once again. My mom is still staying for 3 more days before going back to work.
In less than a month, a new year will commence and that's when another family member joins the gang. More work for me, great.

Throughout the whole day, Eleanor has been stuck on my mind. More than usual...
And when I was about to leave her house, she pulled me in for a final hug, I just didn't want to let go.
I'm getting too attached. That's a bad habit I have. Once I spend time with someone too much, I get too attached.

I hear a knock on my door. I sit up and bury my face into my hands.

"Come in," I mumble.

The door opens and I look up to see Galiana standing in the doorway. I can't read her expression, it's weird. I mean her face is already weird, might as well say ugly-

"D-do you have your tweezers?" She asks as she plays with her hands.

Oh.
She definitely has an idea that I have them and that I went through her stuff. And that I also found her "dried oregano."
I thought she was smarter but I'm always wrong about her.

"Yes, why?"

"When did you get them back?"

"A while ago, why?" I'm going to pull the Uno reverse card at some point in this conversation.

"You went through my makeup?" Her voice starting to get more harsh.

"I sure did, is there a problem?"

"Who allowed you to go through my stuff?" She steps inside my room.

Wrong move.

I stand up. "It's just makeup though? Right?"

Galiana gulps, "y-yeah-"

"Then why worry?" I tilt my head to the side.

"It's just-" she hesitates. "You went through my stuff without permission," she accuses.

I chuckle to myself as I cross my arms. I take a few steps forward until I'm in front of her and she takes a step back.

"Stay out of my room, you fucking crackhead. God know's what else you do. Look after yourself. I might decide to tell mom...who knows."

Galiana was ready to open her mouth but I slammed the door in her face before a peep came out of her mouth. I was about to lay back down when another knock was heard.
I swung the door open in frustration. I was ready to scream at the bitch but instead Belva was there.

"Yes?" I ask annoyed.

She looks down at the floor and shakes her head. "Never mind," she sighs out.

She was about to walk away when I grab her shoulder. I run my fingers through my short hair.

"What's up, Bel?" I ask.

"Are you sure you have time for me?" She asks.

I felt something in my chest when she said that. Like a pang.
God ew! I'm becoming soft! That's disgusting.

"Just tell me what's up."

"How did you know you were a lesbian?" She was being straightforward, just how I like it.

Though the question did get me by surprise. Did she just..?
Belva? Out of all 8 of them? Never would have guessed. I thought Axel was going to come to me first.

I grab her arm and pull her into my room. I make her sit down in my desk and I sit across from her on my bed. I sigh once again and finally look at her.

"What makes you ask?" I want to make sure that this conversation is what I think it is.

Belva shrugs as if this moment wasn't that important. "I think I like girls too."

"You think? Like...do you like boys and girls or just girls?"

"Umm...I'm not sure. I look at a boy and I don't think I would want to kiss them or hold hands with them. I look at boys and I know they are you know..pretty but I don't want to you know. But then I look at a girl and I want to touch her hair and hug her and I also know she is pretty but a different pretty from the boys," Belva explains.

I nod as I listen to her.

"I understand. So you know that some boys are attractive but you just aren't attracted by them. And you, my little sister, are for sure into girls. I can't label you though. You have to figure that out on your own."

Oh my god...I just noticed that I said "little sister."
I need to stop.

I stand up from my bed. Belva broke out into a smile that I didn't notice appeared there.

"Okay, you can get out now-"

Belva jumped up and hugged me. I stood there frozen. I felt myself just stop.

"Thank you, Alex. Also sorry for hugging you," Belva whispered. She let me go and ran out my room.

That was very unexpected...