rare for a cynic // 13

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Never had I ever been relieved for a practice to end, but by the time Coach Ukai called it a day I was exhausted. It was hard to hide a limp without hurting myself and try to act normal at the same time. I was going to have many new bruises because I resorted to diving for the ball more than usual. During the other drills and games I caught glimpses of Tsukishima watching over me, as if to observe and keep track of my condition; it was very unlike him to seem concerned about anything. Yet, despite that fact, I saw a different - hidden - side of him in that bathroom. The way he was so... gentle with me... I pushed the oddity of the situation to the back of my mind - I had to act normal.

Nothing happened as far as the rest of these guys know. Tsukishima seems like he'll help. And it's probably nothing bad anyway. I'm fine. I'm fine...

Everyone walked as a group down the road to the training camp building the guys had been staying in for golden week, where they were going to get ready for dinner. I planned to help Kiyoko and Takeda in the kitchen to avoid interacting with the guys as much.

"TO-SHI-KO!" Shouyou belted and unexpectedly leapt onto my back, nearly making me lose balance. Pain shot up from my ankle through my shin, but I managed to mostly keep a straight face.

"Sh-Shouyou-!" I said through gritted teeth. Some of the guys were laughing at the display.

"I'm tiiiiiired Toshiko. Carry meeeee." As he spoke he pretended to dose off and rested his head on my shoulder, I had to support him under the legs to keep him from falling off my back. He was heavier than he looked, or maybe that was my ankle talking.

"You big baby." I chuckled, but could feel myself beginning to sweat from the exertion already. Suddenly, the weight was lifted and he shouted in protest.

"Uwah! Oi! Tsukishima!" I quickly turned and saw Kei picked Hinata up by the collar and set him on his feet right behind me. Tsukishima looked more annoyed than usual.

"Use your own feet to walk, you dwarf. You won't grow if you have people carrying you around." He goaded Hinata. Yamaguchi followed up by his side snickering.

"Grrr gangly jerk..!"

"Stop it." I stepped in before I realized what I was doing, instinctively standing up for the friend I'd become closest to in the last two weeks. I didn't mean to go against the boy who helped me in secret, but it was a new habit to side with Shouyou. I don't need you two arguing around me right now...

Tsukishima scowled. "Tch..." Was all he grumbled before turning and walking in tow with Yamaguchi ahead of us.

"Geez, what's his problem?" Shouyou complained.

"I would let it go. No need to argue with your teammates, right?"

"But he doesn't have to be like that! I was only kidding around with you."

"I know, Shouyou. He's just-" I stopped myself short, nearly revealing the secret of Kei taking care of my injury. The memory of gentle brushes from his fingers against my skin still sent electricity into my gut.

"Just what?" Hinata cocked his head in question. I chuckled to cover up my awkwardness.

"Just... being Tsukishima! C'mon, let's go so we can eat!" I struggled to cover up my near error, but the distraction of food seemed to work. As he skipped along happily, I couldn't help but feel guilty from keeping such a secret from him. When I looked ahead, I barely managed to catch Tsukishima glancing back at me. What am I gonna do..?

xxx

I helped as much as I could with preparing the meal before Kiyoko and Takeda kicked me out. Saying I deserved some rest after practice. Sitting alone in the dining area, I scrolled through pictures of life back home before a voice from behind scared the hell out of me.

"You're gonna tell him, aren't you?" It was Tsukishima, looming over me like a ghost. I blushed a little thinking about the bathroom incident at practice.

"Tsukishima! Why do you keep sneaking up on me like that?" I covered up my blush with mock anger.

He laughed a little as he took a seat beside me. "It's not like I'm trying to sneak up on you. It wouldn't hurt for you to pay attention to your surroundings a little, maybe then you wouldn't get startled so much." I laughed back.

"Hm. Maybe you're right. But anyway, what do you mean?"

"Ah, I mean Hinata. You're gonna tell him aren't you? I could see the guilt on your face by hiding it from him earlier."

"Well... I don't know. He would be sad if he found out I was keeping a secret from him. Besides, maybe it would help me out to avoid stuff like jumping on my back, you know?"

"Do you think he can even keep a secret?" He questioned as he sat down beside me. I looked down at my now folded hands, squeezing them after pondering his question.

"I don't know... Maybe not..."

"And you still want him to know?"

"Probably not... Tsukishima..." My eyes fluttered up to his, but he was already observing me. His eyes lukewarm and calculating, glinting a golden-brown that seemed to match him so well. They were like a trap. One connection and he could read everything on my face, everything in my eyes.

"What is it?" He spoke, much softer than I'd ever heard him speak. What happened to that cynical attitude of yours?

"I- uh... thank you. For- you know, helping me out."

"Ha. I guess I don't really have a choice now, do I? I'm the reason we're both in this mess." He scratched the side of his head and avoided eye contact for a moment.

"Eh? What do you mean?" He's sitting so close to me... It feels so warm...

"During practice. We both got too close, and you ended up getting hurt because I miscalculated. To avoid being indebted to you I'm helping you now. Saves me a headache later on." Tsukishima still wouldn't look me in the eyes, but I assumed the discomfort came from the fact that this was not how we usually interacted. Our friendship could be summarized with teasing, bickering, and sarcasm. Moments like these never happened for him and I. Maybe that was why I felt so odd from the interaction we had together during practice...

"Well... if it makes you feel better... So..." I trailed off. But the silence wasn't really uncomfortable. It was nice. A feint scent wafted around me, something like "Icy Forest Musk." Boy deodorant smell.

"Tsukki! There you are. Why did you sneak off like that-?" It was Yamaguchi, he walked through the door after spotting Tsukishima, and stopped his stride when he noticed me sitting next to his friend.

"Hi Yamaguchi!" I waved and greeted him with a smile, but he didn't return it. He looked at me with indifference.

"Hey..."

"We can go Yamaguchi, I was just chastising the new girl." He lied as he stood up, glancing down quickly then speaking under his breath. "Keep an eye on your phone, okay?" And then like that I was alone again. As I sat there simmering in my thoughts, I was confused about Yamaguchi's behavior. My phone buzzed.

______________

Kei Tsukishima

'do you stay with your family?'

_'yes and no... my dad is working abroad. I don't know anyone on his side of the family. why?'

'ok... send me your address. I will come by tomorrow before the practice game to help with your ankle again.'

_'ok'
_'is yamaguchi mad at me?'

'how should I know that? be ready tomorrow, will you?'

______________

one step further // haikyuu x OCWhere stories live. Discover now