Tips for trans guys

Hi I'm useless and hurt

Hi, the title says everything

I'm deadly tired and it hurts everywhere, my stomach hurts, my head is burning, my bones are in pain.  I want to puke when I eat and I can see my ribs again.

I asked my mom to go the the doctor, but she doesn't believe me. And it hurts when I breathe.

I want to tell it to someone, that I feel like I'm useless, pathetic, and I want to jump off a bridge. But all the people I know talk to me for homeworks or because they pity me..

They don't believe me. Other strudents pushes me in the stairs, and they look throught me like I don't even exist. And I dont know what to do because no one hears me.

I tell my parents all of that, but they just think I need to stop listening to myself so much. 

I just don't have anyone? I guess that's it -

I don't even know why I write that, this chapter and all the rest. I wanted to help people because no one did for me. But I'm not even sure I can do that correctly.

My body makes me feel so bad in all the way.  I talked to my parents. I told them. But I know what they means by "It's for your own good, you have to wait/think about it/try to be happy as a girl". It means they don't want me to change, they don't want to help me in that.

Every time I see it it feels wrong and I want to rip my skin. I want to lost weight so I don't have breast anymore, or these legs, or these hips. I don't know if I can lose more but I'll try anyway. I can't live my entiere life crying because I accidently saw myself in the mirror or heard my voice.

I don't know if I want to live or die.

I don't even know why I'm writing this and I feel bad to do so, because I know it's so pathetic, and so attention seecking or whatever shit I am.

I think I just need to know someone can read this and I will not be the only one to now.