Tips for trans guys

My opinion on transphobic argument (and tips on how to respond to them)

So this is gonna be kind of long. Don't worry, I'll write shorter things for the next chapter.

So. I noticed that, in our society, being transgender inevitably leads to receiving transphobia in several differents ways. It can be because of incomprehension or ignorance (wich I think can be excused if the person try to understand/or is just  being respectful), education also, fear or simple hate.

When I was younger, I didn't know who I should talk to about my "problem" (don't get me wrong, it still feel like a problem currently, but I less think that there's something wrong with me). I didn't know any safe place, and went straight on the internet. Bad idea guys, after a few insults and paragraph on how it'll break my life, I also received tons of rape "proposition", ect.. So, in that case of transphobia, answering is not a solution. Denonce this violence to someone, a moderator for example, and close that page you went in. There's a lot of other safe places to communicate your identity on internet (for advices, because you're not ready..) So I thought I'd give you some

https://alterheros.com/pose-ta-question/questionsposes/   

trans district  (that one's in french, so I give it but I'm not sure it'll be useful for everyone)

But when I came out, I faced a lot of hate/indiscreet questions from my family. When my mom learned it, she asked about my orientation, if it was because I had my period, and if I wanted to have a penis transplanted. This is not the kind of "transphobia" I'll condemn, because it was clear she didn't understand. In France from my experience, the word "transgender" is basically unknow, the whole thing is considerated inexistant. In that case, the better thing to do is explaining it, even if that means over simplification. For example, if the person keeps calling trans women using he/him, it may be because they don't know what is impolite to do or not. So explain it. But remember, you are not a walking encyclopedia/dictionnary, this is not your role to educate everyone. You should feel free to not answer every questions, and impose limits to the conversations (if you want to converse with the person). 

If the person spread hate, like, if you see some comments saying awful things about trans people, answering to them doesn't lead to anything. It would be the same as trying to persude a member of the KKK ( a very racist association that killed black people )that skin color should make no differences between people. People like that stay on their idea, and the only thing responding to them will do is harm you, take some of your time you could have been spending doing something useful or fun.. You can't change everyone. Some people are too blinded by hate to open to any other kind of argument.

[I recently heard of some "radical feminist" that are apparently very against trans people. By what I read, some say feminism is for women only for example, wich I don't really understand: To me, equality can be created for everyone by everyone. Of course, women undergo and since a long time a lot of inegality, sexism.. But in my opinion, men shouldn't be exclude from feminism, because it is by educating everyone that we make them understand. Well, in my point of view, your age, skin color (don't know if this is the right term?), quality of life, country, language, orientation, gender, should not impact your rights, your level of life. If you didnt commitied any crimes, didn't harmed anyone (of course I include animals), you should have basic humans rights. Bref, I've got carried away.] I've been informed of a few things about that: so, "radical feminists are called "TERFS" and they think only AGAB (assignated girl at birth) people should call themself feminist, and other feminists think cis men shouldn't have a place in the discussion (they can't really understand the struggles and they are not very useful) (thanks to Lyall for this precision)

I also heard that they qualify hormoned trans people as "woman who take testosterone" "man who take eostrogen". And to be honest, even if it shouldn't have, it resonated in my head for a long time. I knew I could never change my childhood as a little girl, that I'll never change my past, or my chromosomes. And that I will always stay "female" for them. But you know what? I don't care. It took my a while, but finally, why should I even care about their opinions? Who spend hours on a computer just to try to prove teens they are wrong and get on every social media to spot them and try to break them? And who are these people to even think they have an opinon on my life? Then right. I'll be "a female that takes T", and you know what? I'm okay with that. As long as it permits me to be seen as a guy, by everyone around me, as long as it will stop me crying for hours over my body, my voice, my name. As long as I will finally be able to enjoy my life and move forward my past .

What I tried to say in these paragraphs, this is that not every transphobia is lead by hate. Sometimes, people don't even know what they are talking about. As a person that lived the whole "trans thing" and is currently living it, you probably know a lot more than them, and it's okay. You dont have to educate them if you don't want to. (it can be exhausting, if you really want to try and change their mind/ eudacte them about basic respect, lead them to site, informations and books, that type of things. This way, they'll educated themself alone.)

Of course, some of the transphobia is leaded by pure hate (even if they may not understand it either). In that case, do not even try. Some people are not worth your time or you education. 

There will always be people to disagree with you, to try to impose on you their view of things. But you know, you can't please everyone, and seeing how short life is, you shouldn't even try to make everyone love you and understand your life. Do what makes you happy, and avoid people that try to take that hapiness from you, because whatever you are, there will always be at least one person that does not like it. Be yourself, be happy, make peace, and that should do it.

 (If you disagree on my point of view, feel free to explain yours to me in the comments, I'll gladly listen (well read but you know), but avoid being disrectful, because I don't work like that.)

(Ho, just to say, it is normal that a more recent chapter had been published before this one: I wrote if before but published it later, so yeah)