Subhadra
Nothing can fill the loss of your child...Although I had not seen her..I still felt her loss...
Days after I woke up from my coma, I came to know about my misscarriage...That too accidently when the pandavas were having their conversation with my Husband about my health..
I was Shocked, Devastated, and furious about how they could? How he could hide something from me!!!
When I confronted them...They pacified me with their concern for my health...Draupadi didi made understand their need to see me healthy and then slowly disclose this sad news...
I too understood their worry, concern and love....but my heart felt bitter burn of their deciet...
I had no issues with any one ...but my heart felt the stab of betrayal from my husband!
"How could you do this to me...She was my daughter! Our Child ! I had the right to know!"
"I am sorry Subhadra.... I was going to tell you ..but I was afraid...you were already too fragile, just woke from your death bed...I did'nt want to stress you more..I knew it would devastate you" Arjun tried to make me understand his point..
"Right now I am beyond any kind of understanding....I feel betrayed !!! Devastated!!"
"Betrayed??? What are you talking about???whatever I do..I do it to protect you...protect you from any kind of grief and this time too I had done the same thing..."
"Just leave me alone" I said to him with finality..
He too understood that I need some time to cool off..so He left me alone
That was the last conversation we had...and it was months back...
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Today Raajsuiya yagya is going to be held at Indraprastha..
Everywhere there were hustle and bustle going on...
I was happy for Bhrata Yudisthir...but I could not feel inside in me to participate freely in it...
"Yuvrani! All are waiting for you in the coronation room, Pooja is going to begin shortly!"
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As I reached there everyone turned to look at me
It was a month back that I had participated in any kind of function..
I smiled or tried to smile as I took my place beside Arjun..whose eyes glistened seeing me...During these past few days he had tirelessly tried to bring me back to my previous self, although I did'nt talk to him much, he always made an effort to visit me everyday, to tell me the ongoings in his life, in the world in general...but I was just a passive listener...never have I participated in any kind of conversation..It was the lowest moment of my life.
I had forgotten that he too have lost his child, and was verge of losing his wife...
Hey Mahadev! Forgive me for I had caused a sin !
Arjun: I am glad you came...
Subhadra: I am glad too....can I ask something from you?
Arjun: Offcourse! anything!
Subhadra: Forgive me Arjun...In my loss I have disregarded you...I was not a wife you deserve...I forgot my duties as your wife...I disregarded your love..your concern...
Perhaps I don't deserve you...
Arjun: sssshh ssshh!! don't cry darling, it kills me to see you like this...I know I should have told you earlier about our child.. I understand my mistake..Please forgive me..
Subhadra: I know Arjun and I forgave you long back..but can you forgive me ?
Arjun: There is nothing to forgive....I knew you were grieving..and now too you are still grieving, I cannot hold a grudge on you for that...but I need a promise from you!
That henceforth you would share your emotions with me all your joys and most importantly all your sorrows..you are not alone in your sorrows!! As my wife you have the duty to share everything with me..which also include your grief, your troubles..Because what is mine is yours and what is yours is mine
Subhadra: I promise!
Arjun: That's my wife!
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Arjun
She smiled..
and I was relieved... These months tested us as a couple and also as individuals..
Losing a child is a hard thing, a devastating thing! But I know the Gods would bless us with a child soon , who would be always loved and cherished by us and also by entire world..
Hey Mahadev bless us ! I Prayed...
"Mahadev always blesses his devotees" Vasudev said as he came by my side...
His knack to appear suddenly out of thin air is unbeliveable...and also his riddles are always confusing and suprising...
"What...??" I asked suprised by his statement...sometimes I feel he knew exactly what everyone is thinking.
"Forget it...now tell me about my sister ? Is she well?" He asked
"As well as she can be.." I replied
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Subhadra
Yagya was ongoing on full swing, Various kings, Prince and Princes are attending the festivities..
It was a joyous occasion!
"Gudiya, are you well ?" Bhrata krishna asked as I went to sit beside him.
"Yes Bhaiya" I said as he searched my eyes and caressed my hair..
"All will be well!" He simply said
There is an unspoken bond between we siblings we always knew what other is going through.
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Arjun's Subhadra
FanfictionSubhadra was the Queen of my Heart, The Empress of my Soul. This is the tale of my Journey with Her, First as her bestfriend, then as her Husband and Finally as Her Soulmate.
