❤
MAY 8
These past eight months had changed Minho.
His always-running, self-tormenting mind had started learning to quiet down and find some peace, and that was more than he ever would have thought to ask for, even if it was still crowded at times... One of those times was now.
His head was uncomfortably full; brimming with thoughts, some of them positive, most of them vaguely negative, and all of them heavy.
He tapped his fingers on his desk as he tried to gather up the things he wanted to write. He clicked his pen.
...All that there was left to do now was open it. The journal Jisung gave him.
For the first time in two months, the brown leather book sat on his desk. He'd never managed to open it... even within the past couple weeks he knew he still didn't feel ready to write down and in a way, physically collect his thoughts, because all his life there'd been such a stigma on having a journal. On having feelings in general.
One deep inhale and a heavy exhale later, Minho pulled the strap off the book and turned the cover.
Now, Minho had never had a journal, but from what he knew, the point of a journal was that it was blank. He wasn't expecting the first thing he saw when he opened it to be a little group of messy, pencil-scribbled words.
Taped to the first page (with cute-cartoon-cat-printed washi tape that he was sure he'd seen before, somewhere on the door across the hall amongst the sticky notes and silly drawings) was a note.
˗ˏˋ ꒰ ❤ ꒱ ˎˊ˗
dear minho hyung!
here's a little present :) i thought it might help you since it's hard for you to express your thoughts. and if you aren't sure what you think, maybe this can help you get to know yourself!!
don't feel like you have to do it all now. it's obvious that words themselves have a big effect on you and you're deeply upset by them, for whatever reason that may be.
but... i hope that some day you won't feel so haunted by words anymore. that one day you can write it all down, and even if it feels wrong, you can also accept your feelings, whatever they may be... because it's okay.
and if you can... keep talking, minho hyung. you have a beautiful voice, even if it's gotten weak. and i think there's a beautiful soul hiding inside you.
love, jisung :>
⋅ ─────── ⋅
two months ago, if i had read that, i think i would've been angry. i probably would've thrown that note away. and i would have refused to acknowledge the words in it.
...and now?
that... wow.
Breath shaky and eyes wet, Minho carefully folded the note and set it beside the journal. And then he wrote.
⊱ ────── {⋅. ✎ .⋅} ────── ⊰
i'm different now. i'm changing.
getting better hurts. this wound— it stings and burns before it heals.
and the worst thing is, it's not a linear process. i run in circles. i scratch off the scab. i doubt myself. i wonder sometimes, is this really the right thing to do? should i just go back to my old self? it's hard to untie a knot this tangled.
YOU ARE READING
hold me ♡ minsung
Fanfiction┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐ lee minho doesn't like to be touched. that's what he says, anyway. han jisung doesn't believe it. └── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
