Minho's head was spinning in just seconds, hit with the realization that just a short time ago, the thought of wanting more of Jisung's hands in his hair would have been entirely bizarre and incomprehensible to him, and he never would have dreamed of saying it aloud. It would have been absolutely mortifying.
(...Well, it still was.)
He really just said that. But what was weird was that he didn't totally, completely regret it? He was extremely embarrassed, sure; had blood rushing to warm his cheeks, but he was sort-of slightly glad he'd said it before he had the chance to even think about it? Maybe? Partly?
He was sure he had to be at least ten-percent glad he said it when Jisung's smile returned, even bigger and happier, and when Jisung's hand returned to fall gently over his temple, brushing a few strands of dark hair away from Minho's eyes. Minho had to fight to keep his eyes from fluttering shut in the single second that it happened— gosh, it just felt so.., strangely, nice... in the worst sort of way that made him feel so guilty and insecure (not that he ever really felt secure).
Again, like that morning a few days back, he had to keep his head from leaning straight into Jisung's hand. At this point, he didn't trust himself not to, so he held his breath and stiffened his neck and held his muscles rigidly in place so that he wouldn't move as Jisung's fingers fell away from his head, all too quickly. It wasn't enough. It was over too fast.
It was something Jisung had clearly sensed from the time he had first touched Minho— from that first uncomfortable hug in Chan's front doorway— and seen him react: the fact that Minho was fighting himself, every day. It continued on and on, even to this very moment. Somehow, Jisung always seemed to see the turmoil hiding behind Minho's icy exterior. That must have been why he finally sighed, "Just let go already, hyung... I think we both know by now... you need this, no matter how much you fight it. Let me do this for you."
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『 ↳✧･ﾟ
i don't like the sound of that, but whatever. just please, please don't stop. as long as no one else knows this side of me— just give it to me, sung. ...i give up, for real. you can do whatever. please take away the ache. i'm so tired of it.
˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ 』
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