Christian Advice

Advice 25: Confidence

Confidence- a feeling of self-assurance arising from one's appreciation of one's own abilities or qualities
~Oxford Dictionary

What do you put your confidence in? Academic validation?
Peoples opinions?
Sports?

Confidence is something that I've struggled with for as long as I remember. I dealt with self hate a lot growing up because I would tend to internalize the words that people spoke to me. I trusted other peoples opinions more than mine and that lead me down a spiral of hate for myself. If I weren't liked by someone I would automatically think that I was the problem and not that people have different tastes, and I'm just not everyone's cup of tea, which is probably closer to the truth. My self hate manifested itself in ways like people pleasing, seeking approval/validation, fear of criticism (even constructive ones), tolerating toxic friendships because I didn't want to be alone, thinking there's something inherently wrong with and I'll never be loved, and wanting to be loved by someone else to prove to myself that I am lovable (super unhealthy). Throughout the years I've managed to deal with most if not all of these things. The central root of it all is putting my worth in the wrong things instead of in the one ☝️ person who's never changing. I know you've heard this many times before but I think it's always helpful for us to check our hearts often and ask ourselves what we're basing our worth on in this time. Like there are seasons where it's on school and other times where it's on peoples opinions so we should constantly check ourselves. People will leave, grades go up and down, life happens, and we need to always have our worth in this truth: We were created by a God who loves us in a way that no body else can and nothing else can fill the Jesus hole 🕳️.

I'm not perfect but I can say that throughout this semester I realized that I am finally at a place where I don't hate myself. Yes, I am aware of my many flaws but I no longer see them as reasons to hate myself but just things that I need to keep working on. If you're struggling with your self worth I encourage you to not do it alone. You're in a community with so many people who would love to come in and support you with whatever you're dealing with. They've done the same for me the past few years. Please Feel free to text me too if you'd like to (917-346-6765)

Here are some verses:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
~Psalm 139:14

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
~Ephesians 2:10

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
~Philippians 1:6

Here are some songs:

Who You Are- Jessie J
Beautiful- Christina Aguilera
Broken and Beautiful- Kelly Clarkson
Hey Girl- Anne Wilson
You say- Lauren Daigle
Jireh- Maverick City