Look Through My Eyes (Second bk of Acceptance Series) (Completed)

Chapter 18- Thomas (Edited)

I woke up with her scent around me and a splitting headache. A loud moan escaped my mouth as I rolled over to the side that smelt like her.

Instantly, that made me open my eyes and sit up because the dream wasn't a dream. Blearily, I looked around my room, but I didn't see her. My racing heart stopped beating so fast because I was sure that maybe it was a dream, and she didn't stay like I had asked her to.

The opening of the bathroom door caught my attention, and I watched as my blonde haired beauty stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but one of my shirts. Steam rolled into the room, causing my beauty to look more like a ghost than anything else.

The female seemed to feel my gawking stare because she turned in my direction and blushed, running a foot up her other leg. "You... um... threw up on me," she said, not looking at me because she was embarrassed. She licked her lips and cleared her throat. "Garrett is getting me clothes."

I looked down to see that I was just in my boxers and blushed. "So, I take it that you had to see me naked?" My heart poundrd in my chest because I had a secret that I didn't want her to know. An Alpha shouldn't be weak, but I was. I was so weak that I had decided to harm myself because I couldn't face it any longer.

"How long ago was the last one?" she asked. She shuffled closer to me and sat down beside me. Her gaze was on me, and I knew that she was watching my movements. She was watching me as if I was a wounded animal that needed reassurance that I wasn't going to be harmed again.

I took a deep breath and sighed. I opened my mouth before closing it and clearing my throat. I wanted to lie, but a part of me knew that it would be better to be honest. "Three months ago, I had a relapse," I said, honestly. "I had been clean for barely over a year before..." I shrugged.

Sam hesitated and reached for my hand. She squeezed my hand, reassuring me that she was there. "Two months ago for me," she said, causing me to look up at her. She smiled bitterly and nodded her head as if answering my unasked question.

I wiped away the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes and waited patiently. I made sure that she kept her gaze on me when she tried to look away. I wanted to see the honesty in them, because I knew that her face and voice could hide it.

"I was clean for only five months before I relapsed." She chuckled darkly, sending shivers down my spine, and I knew that if I hadn't had a hold of her face that she would be shaking her head. "My anxiety and my fear push me over the edge." She tried to shake her head and pursed her lips.

Guilt laced my heart as I saw the broken eyes of my mate. I squeezed her hand, bringing her back to me. I knew that she had gotten stuck in a memory, and I couldn't help but wished that I knew which memory. "Have you..." I couldn't finish the sentence, because I didn't know if I wanted to know the answer or not.

She hesitated but nodded. "I was going to but stopped when a voice whispered; 'Not yet. You are-'"

"'-stronger than you look. There is a plan forming and you are needed alive. Trust that the future will be brighter and that you will have your heart's desire.'" I shook my head, amazed that we both heard the same thing. "I heard it, too, twice. The second time the voice yelled and cussed."

Sam stared at me with an open mouth. She studied me, her brown eyes filled with emotions that she didn't show on her face. Curiosity was the main one in her eyes with hope following close behind. "What is your heart's desire?" she whispered.

I looked at our interlocked hands. My heart's desire had always been her, but was I willing to let her get hurt? I was afraid that I would hurt her again, much worse than I did in the past.

There was a lot to be said and done, but I knew that I needed her. I needed her as much as I needed air to breathe. She was my one and only, and I prayed that there was some fucked up reason as to why I acted like I did.

I took a deep breath and smiled. "You," I whispered. "You are my heart's desire." I moved the hand that was on her face and started to lean in closer. "Let us start over, shall we?" I could hear her heart rate pick up and mine moved just as fast as hers. "I am Thomas, and I accept you as my mate."

She was in my arms for only a minute before she got up and moved to the dresser. Her whole body was tense, and her eyes were close to those of her Wolf. Her nostrils flared, and I couldn't help but think I did something wrong.

I was about to speak but shut my mouth when she looked at me. There was a smile on her face, but it didn't reach her guarded eyes.

"Sam," she replied. 'I accept you as my mate, but you need to trust me," she linked.

My smile wavered and I cleared my throat. My heart ached because she didn't say it out loud, but... a part of me knew that there was a reason that she didn't say it. I cleared my throat, again, and moved a hand through my hair. "I... I'm going to take a shower..." I grimaced and shook my head before leaving my mate in my room as I made my way into the bathroom.

I closed the bathroom door and sighed, leaning my head against it. "What are you hiding from me, Sam?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper. "I thought you wanted me just as badly as I wanted you."

***

I walked out of the bathroom, running a towel through my hair. I was grateful that the closet was in the bathroom because if it wasn't, then I wouldn't have had any clothes with me.

I raised an eyebrow when I saw Sam and Garrett having a heated argument about something in a different language. When I cleared my throat, they both turned around and looked at me with wide eyes. "Uh... should I be worried?" I asked, glancing between the pair.

Sam's face became a mask as she shook her head. "Don't worry about it," she replied. "Come on, let's go." She gave me a look that made shut my mouth and follow her.

My heart ached when I saw that she wasn't that close to me, and I couldn't understand why. I knew that she accepted me as her mate, but was that just for show?

Sam glanced at me and offered me a small smile, the same smile that I had fallen in love with. This one was hesitant as if she knew something that I didn't and one with hope for me to trust her.

I offered her a small smile and nodded back. My mate had asked me to trust her, and that was what I was going to do.

Let's just hope neither one of us would regret it...