Buttercup: Finnick Odair X Reader

Recovery

As I get pulled from the arena I am unable to get my senses brought together. And it remains that way through all of the 'fixing me up' and my train ride home. 

The whole thing became one big blur that I couldn't seem to remember. 

And before I knew it, the train had stopped and Bale was telling me that we had reached District 4. 

I know that I should be jumping up and down and be praising the god lord. 

But I just couldn't.

I stood on the train, frozen, just like I did in that arena. 

The doors opened and I was hit with the smell of my home, the sea salt over whelming. I had never taken much notice to it before, it was just kind of something that had always been there. But now, it felt different. 

I look from the doors and I see my family waiting for my arrival, all of them carrying the same smile across their face. 

Then I see all the cameras, none of these seem to have anyone attached to them. However vital it may be I seem unable to pull my façade up. 

I had Azure and Bale either side of me. But no Castor. It felt wrong to return home without him. 

Bale gives a little huff and pushes me forward from the train. 

I don't know what happens with in me, but this is when I break. 

I fall to the ground and just sob, horrendously. 

Loud, ugly sobs. 

Then when someone rushes over to me. I fear it may be one of the peacekeepers, coming to make me move to my feet, to thank president Snow for this 'wonderful opportunity'. But it isn't. 

They take me in their arms and they begin to comfort me, rubbing circles in on my back, and shushing my sobs. 

I look up to see Finnick, oh how I thought I would never lay eyes on his beautiful eyes again. 

I pull myself up and wrap my arms around his neck as my sobs get harder. 

"I killed them," is all I could let out. 

With pain in his voice, he replied, "I know, I know, it's ok, it's all going to be ok".

He finally helped to pull me to my feet. 

With tears still running down my cheeks, I ran over to my grandmother and sister, as they both grabbed me in one massive hug. 

Then we got led to our new house in the victor's village. Right opposite Finnick's and next to the infamous Annie Cresta. 

I felt bad for Annie, I feel she had a worse game than the rest of us. She came out not just broken, but truly mad. 

Her own 'teammate's' head was cut off in front of her. I'd find that more traumatizing than them just getting murdered. 

Poor Annie was never the same, but could anybody really blame her?

Our new house, it was not yet somewhere I could call my home, was set up the second I had won the games. 

That's where the camera's decided to leave us. Right on our doorstep. I took no notice of them, just like I hadn't when I arrived, as we clamber in and shut the door behind us. 

As soon as we enter the house, my sister offers me a house tour, just being excited that I am home.  I try to decline as politely as possible, and just asked to be shown to what would be my room. 

I went in and went straight to bed. Sleep wasn't an option for a while. 

I found no peace to do such. But soon enough tiredness overtook my worrying mind and caused me to fall asleep.