I couldn't care less! [Haobin]

12

"NO!" Hao woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweats, tears coming out of his eyes. "Are you okay?!" Hanbin immediately woke up, looking at Hao.

Another nightmare, Hao thought.
He's been having them regularly since he left James, all the memories haunting him. He told his friends they were over so they wouldn't worry for him anymore.

"Hao? Please look at me, are you okay," Hanbin turned his body now facing Hao completely, he look petrified. As if he wasn't fully awake yet.  "It's me, Hanbin, don't worry you're safe." He said soothingly.

Hao got closer to Hanbin, as he suddenly hugged him crying on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for waking you," Hao suddenly said as he loosened the hug, looking into Hanbin's eyes. "And making your shoulder all wet." He says apologetic as he wipes the tears off of Hanbin's shoulder.
"Hey don't worry about it, are you okay? Nightmare?" Hanbin pulled Hao closer to him, drawing soothing circles on Hao's back with his fingers.

Hao thought for a moment if he should tell Hanbin, but he felt so tired and safe with him that he could literally blurt out anything.

"You know my ex James right," Hao tensed a bit when he spoke his name out loud, but he continued as he felt Hanbin nod against his shoulder. "He never treated me right, and I mean as in, he occasionally would hit me or as he called it he would 'punish' me if I wasn't acting the way he wanted me to act."

Hanbin's eyebrows furrowed, he couldn't believe anyone would ever treat someone as kind as Hao so bad. But it was his story so he let him speak without interrupting.

"One day," Hao starts as he feels tears well up in his eyes. "He was so angry at me, he put me in the car and he started driving.." Hao moved a bit away from the hug as he seats himself in front of Hanbin, taking Hanbin's hands in his as comfort. Hanbin immediately adjusts as he holds Hao's hands.
"When we arrived at a big lake, he dragged me towards it," Hao remembers it like it was yesterday.

Flashback
"You think you can say shit to me?!" James yelled as he dragged Hao towards the lake.
"P-please, I'm sorry! I never ment to!" Hao shakily tries to get out of his grip.
"If you're that sorry, go take a swim." James said with the biggest smile on his face possible.
"You know I can't swim!" Hao cries out hysterically as he sees they keep moving closer to the lake. "PLEASE STOP!"

"Aww sweetheart," He sounds like a maniac, as he pushes Hao in the water forcefully. "I'll decide when I'll get you out."

Hao felt as the water started consuming him, he never learned how to swim. He was just panicking as he's arms were swinging around, trying to stay above the water. He just kept screaming for help.
"No one would ever come and get you sweetheart, you know why? Because you're not worth loving and definitely not worth saving! You are pathetic." James spit out.

Who would even care? I'm not worth to save. I'm nothing.
Suddenly everything went dark.
Oh how he wished it would've stayed dark, it was so peaceful.

End flashback

"I almost drowned. I can't swim." Hao says as tears start to flow out of his eyes again. "I.. I wished that I wouldn't wake up anymore." Hao smiles lightly as he lowers his head, not making eye contact.

Hanbin felt like a knife was pierced right through his heart as he heard those words. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, he knew Hao's ex was crazy. But this crazy? He wanted to make Hao feel loved again, make him feel save. When you saw Hao on a daily base, you wouldn't notice he's carrying such an awful past.

"Hao..." Hanbin put his hand on Hao's chin, moving his head to look up at him. Making their eyes meet. "You're an amazing person. I know you might not believe me, but you deserve the world. And so much more, I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me this. To me you're like an angel, wherever you go the place becomes brighter."  He placed a kiss on Hao's temple as he pulled them down to go to sleep.

Hao felt tears roll out of his eyes, but not from sadness but from the words Hanbin had spoken. As he was laying down he crawled closer to Hanbin, putting his arms around him as he fell asleep.
To Hao, Hanbin felt safe.

"I've fallen for an angel with a broken wing. I'll be sure to fix it, so you can fly again." Hanbin whispered as he noticed Hao had fallen asleep, also wrapping his arms around Hao. Some tears escaping from Hanbin's eyes.

A/N
To everyone that's having a hard time, I love you and you are so worth it!! <3 Please know that you're an amazing person, with a beautiful future ahead of you. Hang in there please, I'll be rooting for you <3