Incite Me

Chapter 26

I would often see myself as a prudent, witty girl with a terrible past but a promising future nonetheless. Putting the terrors behind, I saw myself a subtle rose - with thorns to prick the outer skin deliberately, however, to my own protection. Now that I told the man my true feelings, I sensed there was no coming back. A word is not a bird - you can't catch it once it escaped. Dorian's affection left me yearning for more which then raised a question - will I be able to answer his devotion in a manner he'd expect me to? 

 On late Friday afternoon, I hurried home from work to pack my suitcase for the trip to New York. Jeanette helped with the dress and the suitable make-up tutorial a day before whilst Dorian promised to pick me up at six. 

Ian couldn't stay focused on anything else but my departure. I haven't left Compton for a very long time and seeing that I'll be traveling with strangers to the place I ran away from over two years ago, didn't help Ian's desperation to try and change my mind. 

 "Baby girl, I know you trust Dorian but I don't. No offence." He paced back and forth in my bedroom as I was throwing last essentials to my small pink suitcase. 

 "I'll be fine, don't worry about it." I smiled at my friend and blew a wayward strand of hair out of my sight. "Besides, Jack and Jeanette will both be there which means I won't be a total stranger to them all." 

 "But it's New York, Sam! The place you despised for over two years!" Ian raised his voice, scolding me from the distance of the room. "What if your memories will ruin your stay? I mean, it can whack you back to the very beginning and all that therapy and self-soothing will be thrown to the dogs." 

 "I'll only be gone for two days. I promise to call as soon as we land and then I'll check up on you every other hour or so." 

 "I wish I could come with you then I'd know you're safe." 

 "I'll be safe with Dorian and his family." 

 "But if you don't call, I'm catching the next available flight to New York. I'm not kidding." Ian's anger and worryingly desperate rage has finally subsided when I nodded and reassured I'll be checking in with him ever so often. Eventually, he'll have to let me go and trust my decisions in life, no matter how dumb they might be as they'll be mine to make. Ian has been a family and I'll never be able to fully express my gratitude towards his love and support but at times, I felt restrained by his overreaction and exaggeration. 

 "I'm all set. I think." I zipped the suitcase and placed it on its wheels next to me. Striding to the mirror, I checked my hair and make-up, evened out my blouse and pulled the jeans a tad higher. 

 "Is his family really this hypocritical? I mean, you don't have to look as if you just stepped out of the podium on a catwalk." Ian furrowed his brow as he came to stand behind me and scanned my reflection in the mirror from top to bottom. 

"I heard they're relatively strict when it comes to self-preservation. I don't mind as long as I don't have to live with them." I threw a skittish grin at him. 

 A single thought kept nagging my mind ever since I opened my eyes this morning. New York will either be a pleasant experience or a disastrous letdown. Although I was aiming for the former but the doubt that the latter will coarsely devastate me didn't leave my mind no matter what. 

 Deep breaths, Sam! You can do it! 

 ***

 We arrived in LAX at a little past seven the same evening. Rolling my suitcase behind me, I paraded in the middle of Jeanette and Dorian, who both were carrying small rucksacks on their shoulders. The airport departure hall looked quite busy and the queue to New York was slowly forming at the gate fifteen. 

 "Are you sure you don't need any help with that?" Dorian pointed at my overpacked, rounder than it should be, suitcase. 

 "I'm fine, thanks." I smiled at him and hoped he won't notice my agitation. I could barely walk straight knowing that in less than five hours I'll be possibly greeting Dorian's folks, if not then tomorrow morning at the latest. "Could we get some coffee before we take off?" 

 "Of course. The flight is in half an hour. Let me grab you something from the kiosk across the hall." Dorian's reassuring smile kept me on track, even if it was at a very minimal level. 

 "I'd love a caramel macchiato, please." I gave him a brisk nod and went to sit on one of the metal benches by the appointed gate. Jeanette dropped her bag next to my suitcase and plunged deep in the seat beside me. 

"Everything will be ok as long as Mom doesn't act like a spoilt queen." 

 If that was her attempt to make me feel better, it desperately failed as I was now debating whether I should grab my case and catch a cab back home. I kept repeating it'll all be alright in my head. Over and over again. 

 "Your coffee, Miss." Dorian came back with three paper cups in his hands. Passing one to me, he purposely brushed his finger over my knuckle, making me twitch unexpectedly. 

 "Thanks." 

 "The plan is to get a good night's sleep in the hotel then meet my parents in the morning." He spoke before taking a small sip of a steaming brew. 

 "Hotel?" I asked surprised. "My apartment is an hour's drive to the parent's city mansion so I figured we'll stay in Radisson and get a private escort the next morning." 

 Sharing a house with Dorian and his family didn't seem such a bad idea after a long consideration but sharing a hotel room with the man, even if it was Dorian, sent icy shivers down my spine. 

 "Don't worry, we'll have separate rooms." Dorian reassured as if again, he was able to read my mind. I let out a relieved sigh before turning at Jeanette, 

"And where will you be staying?" 

 "With my friend Diana. She's picking me up from the airport." She smiled and pointed at her wristwatch, "We better hurry, they're closing the gates in ten." 

 Dorian slowly stood up and extended his hand towards me with a wide grin lingering on his face, "ready?" 

 Exhaling sharply, I nodded and gave him a coy smile through pressed lips. I was nowhere ready but I had to do it for Dorian. The trip meant a great deal for both of us. It was a first step to a new beginning, a brighter tomorrow.