shifting realities: hogwarts

ATTEMPT FOURTEEN & FIFTEEN

october 14, 2020

ok so last night i was upset (for a reason i will be explaining later) so i just wanted to shift out of anger because I HATE IT HERE. of course it didn't work (again) but i sort of felt my surroundings change, or maybe that's just me, i don't know. so basically my muscles felt really heavy after and i just got the usual symptoms when i was doing it; twitching, jerking, etc..

ok so shoutout to sophia g for ruining my life 🥰 girl I HATE YOU just kidding (sorta). so basically thanks to you my mom is making my bedtime pretty much 9:30 (mind you i am in 8th grade and now my bedtime is pretty much 9 fricking 30). well not exactly, but basically at 9:30 i have to take ALL my electronics out of my room (computer, phone, etc.) and i have to keep my door open and READ. for 30 minutes, and after that, boom, straight to bed i go. and they have to be paper books. now my mom is establishing this stupid ass system because she thinks it'll be good for us (which it probably is, but i'll explain why i'm so mad in the next sentence). so here's the thing - how am i supposed to shift now?? usually you need to meditate and read over your script, but now if i want to do that, i'd have to do it all 30 minutes before i shift, and now i don't have time for other things (it takes me like 30 minutes to read my whole script bc it's so long so i'd have to start at like 8:45) and all that time could be used for more productive things. ugh.

i'll see if anything changes in this dumbass system but for now i'm going to have to try and shift either reading and mediating early, or skipping that part (the first time i shifted i got the closest, and i did that without meditating and without a script).

please note i love sophia! please don't come for me, right now is not a good time for hate. i adore and cherish all my friends and i know it's not really her fault and it wasn't intentional for her to convince my mom to do this :)

update: ok so i think i have an idea. to be honest i have calmed down now and i am just looking at the positives of this situation. i guess i will have to start earlier with my guided meditation and scripting. because my mom is making my read only paper books, i thought it would be a good idea to read the harry potter books (even though i've tried reading them before and i didn't like them). reading the books might help me visualize my dr better, and i see no downsides! reading before bed is also said to make you sleepy (which would be good for sleeping methods) and a good night's sleep. i've also thought about maybe buying a journal to write my script there, but the problem is my script is HELLA long. like so so long it takes me 38 whole minutes to read🧍‍♀️. i've also decided i might try shifting during the day now, but the problem is, it'll be even louder than it is at night. at least this way, i can meditate and read my script and start right after. i can also play subliminals at this time because i'm not allowed to listen to anything when i'm supposed to be sleeping.

updated update: so i complained to my mom again about the system, and she said that now i can start reading at 10 instead. this is better and i'm thankful for this opportunity, but i'm writing this on a friday so i'm not sure if she was referring to weekends only or just every day.