Out on the Field

Chapter 11

Colby's POV

I woke up around one in the morning and I couldn't figure out why. I couldn't remember having a nightmare. I rolled over and I just couldn't get back to sleep. I pushed the covers off me and headed downstairs. I should have pulled a shirt on because it was colder downstairs and the floor was cold.

I grabbed a glass of water and sat down at the table. It was just silent and I just started staring off into space, occasionally taking a sip.

You aren't worth anyone's time

It was like a message flashing in front of my eyes. I couldn't remember the dream but I was sure it was from a dream. I sat there for a minute but I still couldn't get it out of me head. I don't know how long I sat there before I decided that I should go back to bed.

I ended up staring at the ceiling for hours and I just couldn't fall asleep again. I couldn't seem to get comfortable and just kept rolling over. I gave up around five in the morning and just decided to get up and go for a run.

It was still quite dark and I started to a longer run since I was earlier than usual. I ran past school and Clara's house and past the cliff before turning around and returning home. I saw the words again.

You aren't worth anyone's time

I stopped running for a second and I couldn't understand why I kept seeing these words. I made it home and no one was up yet. I showered and came downstairs to see Dad drinking coffee at the table. I didn't say anything to him because we still were on good terms.

I left for school not long later and I saw Calvin standing outside the school. I walked over to him and he offered me a smile.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I gave me a smile that we both knew was fake.

"I'll be fine," I told him before we walked into school.

Clara was standing outside my locker and she was talking to one of her friends. I groaned because I really didn't want to deal her. She asked too many questions and I was tired after only a couple hours of sleep.

I didn't go and talk to her, instead headed to class. I sat down in my seat and leant the chair back into two legs. Clara came in a few minutes later and I made sure not to look at her. I didn't want to talk about it.

Mrs Williams came in and she started talking but I couldn't concentrate because I kept thinking about the five words from earlier. I was trying to convince myself that I was worth someone's time but I couldn't lie to myself.

"Colby, are you alright?" Clara asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You look out of it."

"I'm fine," I told her.

She nodded and returned her attention back to the teacher. Our teacher handed out a worksheet to do and I started filling out the sheet but it didn't entertain me for very long.

"How do you do that?" Clara asked.

"Do what?"

"Not listen but seem to understand it," she said.

"I'm just magic," I said with a smile.

She rolled her eyes at me and didn't ask anything else.

I stayed longer after training today. I hadn't had a particular good training because I was tired but I had to keep going. I had to improve. Clara and Coach hadn't left yet and I knew that they were watching me.

"Do you want to come have dinner with us?" Clara asked.

I shook my head. Company was the last thing that I want at the moment. They left and it left me alone. I didn't train for much longer because I was tired. Instead I just lay down on the grass. I didn't want to go home so I just lay there.

In retrospect I should have taken the offer of company but I really couldn't do it at the moment. I picked myself up from the ground and headed towards the locker room.

Dad was waiting for me to come home. Usually when we have these discussions Adam and Mom are here as well but today it was just Dad.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I just need to talk to you about a couple of things," he said.

I groaned but took a seat because I knew that it was the better choice.

"I called your Grandma today," he started.

I had talked to her more often recently. I needed someone to talk to and she was the best option.

"She told me that you have been talking to you a lot recently," he continued.

"Well, she is someone that listens to me so I talk to her," I said honestly.

"I think that you need to talk to someone. Someone professional."

"I'm fine. I don't need help."

"When is the last time that you really talked to me about anything. You need someone to talk to."

"I'm fine," I protested.

"I don't care. You have to go," he said firmly.

"What do you want? You are always the first one to tell me how shit I am and now you are trying to tell me that you care for me."

"I have always cared for you."

"No, you always care for Adam. Not me. It was never me. You never had the time for me," I said.

"You are right. I don't really know why I bother with you. You aren't worth anyone's time," Dad said.

I got up and was close to flipping the table. I couldn't do this so I just left.

"I am worth people's time," I told Dad.

................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Comment and Vote

The Wise One