Detention (ASOUE)

Chapter Six

I've decided to drop the schedule lol. Updates are no longer every monday, they're just whenever I feel like. I think it's more fun to write like that. I'll still try and make sure there's at least one chapter a week but dropping the schedule means there's opportunity for more than one a week on weeks when I'm not working as much. So yeah, that probably doesn't matter to anyone but I thought I would just clear things up before we go any further. If you guys are enjoying the story or have any criticism feel free to drop a comment and give me feedback! :)))

"Piss off Quigley!" 

"Language, Duncan," complained my Dad, shaking his head.

The two of us shared a look that said, "Kids these days, huh?" and then went back to setting the table ready for dinner. My brothers, on the other hand, went back to bickering over god knows what. Couch cushions went flying, as they usually did whenever Quigley and Duncan were arguing, until my dad went in and confiscated them. 

The two boys calmed down and glared at each other until Quigley sighed and quietly said, "Yeah, well, you're ugly."

The two of them deadpanned each other before bursting out laughing. I shook my head at them. Sometimes they were really just a couple of idiots. I grabbed some more place mats from the cupboard and turned around to find my Dad over by the couch, staring at something intently. It took me a second to realise it was my notebook. 

"Hey!" I exclaimed, storming over and trying to take it.

"I would rather eat a bowl of vampire bats," my Dad read, pausing for dramatic effect, "than spend an hour with Carmelita Spats. That's a little cruel, don't you think?"

I finally managed to grab my notebook and held it tight to my chest, irritated that my privacy had been invaded. I shouldn't have left it lying around. "It's about a cruel person."

"Two wrongs don't make a right."

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, Dad. It's not like I'm gonna mail it to her."

"Imagine if someone wrote something like that about you," he continued. Sometimes I wished we could just talk instead of everything becoming a life lesson.

"If someone wrote this about me I would praise them for their creative form of anger management." 

My Dad gave me a look and I left my speech there.

"From a poetic perspective it's a good couplet, I'll give you that." 

"Oh it's not..." I began before trailing off. Of course! I thought my poem had reached a dead end, but as I read it over again I realised it worked well as a couplet. And couplets were way easier than writing a full length poem. Suddenly I realised that this was an easy way to keep my lie alive. I didn't have to worry about writing pages and pages; two lines was enough. 

I nodded to myself before plastering a smile on my face. "Thanks Dad. I'll write more soon."

"Less anger though, please," he replied, shaking a finger at me.

I mockingly did it back. "You got it."

*

The next day at lunch, I told Lily about my plan and she helped me to write some more couplets. We had fun with it, just writing down anything that rhymed, and after a little while we had a couple of pages worth. I figured that would be enough to keep my parents off my back.

"So, now our work is out the way, now we've got to get down to business," said Lily, clasping her hands together on the table and giving me a serious look. I waited for her to continue, half expecting her to pull out another vampire drawing. "Klaus Baudelaire wears glasses."

I nodded. "Crazy right?"

"Really crazy!" she exclaimed. "But the real question is... did he look hot?"

I hit her on the arm. "I didn't see him in them, idiot. He just dropped them in front of me. He seemed embarrassed, though."

"This just keeps getting better and better! Klaus Baudelaire is no longer a loner. He's now a classified shy boy."

I gave her a confused look. "How does him dropping his glasses give him an instant promotion?"

"Oh, Isadora. I wouldn't expect you to understand. First of all, he wears glasses which makes any guy way cuter. And then he was visibly embarrassed in front of you? That proves his whole all-black-no-one-talk-to-me aesthetic is because he's shy, not because he thinks he's above everyone else."

I regarded her smug look as she sat back in her chair. "I think you study boys too much."

"What?!"

"You're on the borderline of being a stalker."

"I am NOT. Take that back!"

I ignored her and thought for a second. "I can't believe we never noticed. Like you would think glasses would stand out on this face... he's so pale." Lily's eyes lit up so I quickly added: "Not like a vampire. Like a... person."

"How were we meant to know that?" she replied, "he's not in any of our classes."

"What? None?"

I cycled through all of my lessons in my head before drawing a blank. How did I never notice he was never present?

"Well of course not, he's not in our year."

I blinked at her. "Really? I thought he was the same age as us?"

"He is but-"

I gasped, "No way! He got held back? That'll serve him right for never doing his work."

Lily shook her head. "No! He got advanced forward. He's really smart... didn't you know?"

I frowned and glanced across the cafeteria to where Klaus was sat, dark hair flopping into his face as he focused on his lunch. How could someone who never tried, be pushed forward a year? It was common knowledge that he was late everywhere and never worked hard, so how could he secretly (or not-so-secretly I suppose, if Lily somehow knew) be really intelligent? The more I thought about it, the more I considered the idea that I might have been a bit harsh when it came to judging him. Maybe he didn't try at school because it was too easy for him. Just yesterday I would've laughed at the idea, but now Lily had broken the news to me I supposed anything was possible. 

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a shadow being cast over me. One look at Lily across from me told me I was in trouble and my fears were confirmed as soon as I turned around. There stood someone I'd hoped I wouldn't have to face for a little while longer. That person being-

"Carmelita Spats," I murmured, my eyes wide as I stared up at her.

"I've been thinking," she snarled, "about how best to make you pay for what you did to me."

She paused and I was confused until I noticed the food tray in her hand, filled to the brim with macaroni and cheese. In one swift motion she moved it towards me and tipped, and that's when I knew I was doomed.