SUGAR (bxb)

26. Maybe (Casey)

   We approach the University and my heart is pounding faster and faster.

   I shouldn't have written that I loved him. I shouldn't have had sex with him. I shouldn't have gone to that party at all.

   My peaceful, eventless life is ruined.

   I had almost forgotten how it felt to worry all the time, to be anxious what would happen tomorrow, to crave to see someone and fear it at the same time, because you know it might hurt you. All this was buried deep in my mind before yesterday.

   But now it's all on the surface again. I want to push it back with no sucess. I can't help but repeat that scene at the mall again and again.

   We talked with the girls. We decided not to jump to conclusions, that I'd talk to Avery and we'd clarify everything. But I can't stop the painful swirls of anxiety from twisting my insides. I can't ask him directly. I can't. I can't.

   "Don't freak out!" Lilly squeezes my left hand while Emmy holds tight to my right arm.

   They are trying to give me strength, to make me believe that this time it's different. I want to, but my brain refuses to accept it.

   I'm doomed. Because I love him. I really do and it's killing me. Love makes me compromise. It forces me to put up with things I shouldn't. I feel like someone who's approaching his total demise.

   Summer pulls up near the gate of the central courtyard and we all head towards the building.

   I spot Avery immediately, sitting on a bench, with his eyes, fixed on us. He's wearing sun glasses, but I know where his sight is directed because it burns. I feel his gaze digging a hot well on my face. I'm sure he searches for traces of anger, or something else to explain my silence last evening. He didn't buy the version with the broken phone, although, it was partially true. I know it because he answered to my messages with only 'Ok, we'll talk in an hour.'

   Maybe, now he's the one that is mad. 

   A sharp string of fear darts through me, making me cringe.

   No, no, no, he'd never hurt me. 

   Maybe, he's angry and probably will pout or even yell, but he'll never hit me. 

   Oh, my God! My uneasiness is making me go to extremes. This is stupid. This is Avery, the boy that rolled in the grass with me and asked me to be his boyfriend in front of a bunch of fuming girls and told me he loved me. 

   What's wrong with me?

   We reach the spot where he's sitting and my pulse goes crazy. I feel the blood in my veins rushing.

   Ave smiles and jumps up, making a step towards me.

   Before I can smile back, or say something, or even look at him, everything in front of my eyes goes black. 

   The last thing I see is the asphalt alley rapidly coming close to my face and the sharp pain in my cheek from the impact. 

   I hear a distant horrified cry and everything goes silent and dark.

***

   "His heartbeat is way above the norm. His cheekbone is fractured. He needs to rest now," a muffled voice, sounding indifferent and professional, breaks the silence.

   "Is he going to wake up soon?" Lilly is crying.

   "Any moment," the impersonal voice answers, fading away, accompanied by receding footsteps. "Be sure to keep him calm and relaxed. No excitement, positive or negative. This is a nervous breakdown of the worst kind. There may be consequences. Consider persuading him to visit a therapist."

   "Oh, my Goood! What am I going to do now?" Lilly cries louder. "Do you think I should call his parents?"

   "Not yet," Summer answers quietly, "and stop this fucken weeping. You don't want him to wake up from your howling. Go wash your face and put a bloody smile on it, or you'll scare the shit out of him."

   "Avery, I think you better go," Emmy whispers. "You heard the doctor. No excitement. It's not good for him to see you right now."

   I hear a sob and tormented whisper, "It's because of me, isn't it. I triggered something. What is it? Tell me what's happening."

   "It's not our place to give you those answers," Dahlia retorts. "Emmy is right. Just go now. You'll talk to him when he's better."

   "But I need to be here," Avery tries to argue, but Lilly's voice cuts him immediately.

   "It's not important what you need. You did enough. Go!" She leaves no room for negotiation and the door cracks in few seconds at his exit.

   I keep my eyes closed, despite the pain in my cheek and the worse one in my heart. I want to stop him but I don't have the strength. 

   I'm pathetic, afraid of my own boyfriend and hesitant to look at my best friends.

   It's over. My short moment of happiness is gone. It's only because of me. I couldn't cope with it. I was not able to embrace it. A small, insignificant event and I turned into a total mess.

   The boy I love is gone. My friends are worried. I'm in the hospital. 

   That's what you get when you cling to the past and allow it to rule your present. 

   I have no desire to open my eyes. Maybe, I'll fall asleep again if I don't. Maybe, when I wake up again, the pain will be gone.

   Everything becomes black again.

___________________________________

A/N

Hello everyone at the end of Chapter 26.

Thank you so much for reading and supporting! ❤❤❤

Things went terribly wrong, didn't they? 😟

Do you think Casey and Avery will fix this and be together again?

Don't forget to vote if you liked the story.

It's the best reward an author can gain.

See you in the next chapter.

Love: Anny