Throne of Glass & A Court of Thorns and Roses: Two Worlds Collide

Chapter 16-Rowan

We walked away from the estate and went a few blocks without talking once; I noticed that Aelin was breathing as little as possible. She was scared of something, but this was a different kind of scared than when there was a threat hanging over her head; she always knew she could find a way out of that, so she was never as scared as she should be.

This was pure fear.

Aelin and I had made it to a private area and she was about to cut her hand again to make a portal when I touched her wrist. When she turned to look up at me, I saw the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over and her bottom lip poking out slightly. I racked my brain trying to figure out what it was I could've said to her. She'd been acting distant since we got here, and it was killing me inside that she would close herself off from me. I thought we were passed this.

"Will you please tell me what's bothering you?" I asked so softly, cupping her face. She didn't say a word, only clung to me and sobbed in my arms. All I could do was stroke her hair and whisper kind words to her until she calmed down.

After a while I was on my knees holding her while her hands clutched my shirt. She started whispering something and at first I didn't understand what she was saying, but I heard the words clearly once. Only once.

"I'm so sorry," she was saying. I didn't know what was wrong with her; I didn't know what to do. The sight of her so helpless made my heart hurt and my eyes burn.

"Fireheart," I whispered, confused, kissing her tear soaked cheeks. She squeezed her eyes together and made an effort to stop her tears, but it only made it run down faster "Do you remember when we first met?"

"We hated each other," she choked out as more tears fell.

"Yes we did," I admitted, "but for different reasons. You were so stubborn and I was so cruel to you. I pushed you too far and I insulted you beyond comprehension. I made you believe that I thought you were so small, so insignificant but Aelin, I cannot tell you how many times I laid down at night and thought about how magnificent you were. Even before I knew about Endovier I could tell how much you had been through and how strong it made you but I never knew why, so I hurt you and I abandoned you because I couldn't come to terms with what I felt because of you. And after I found out what you had gone through, it only made me respect you more and it made me realize that I really did care about you. That night, I swore to protect you from harm and I always will," I said. She only looked at her hands.

"Aelin, that was the night that I knew I loved you and always would, maybe not in a romantic way then, but" I clutched one of her small hands and tilted her chin up to look at me, "nothing you could say or do will ever make me love you less."

"Rowan," she squeezed her lips together and closed her eyes. I rested my forehead on hers and felt our breaths mingling when she choked back a sob and whispered, "listen."

We both held our breaths and I perked my ears, waiting for someone to attack. I could faintly hear the music from the beautiful city and I could hear the wind blowing past us and-

I inhaled sharply and Aelin looked up at me with an apology in her eyes. I could hear it, a small and fragile heart. Beating. I leaned closer to Aelin and smelled her neck.

I straightened my spine and looked at her through tears. She was pregnant. With my child. I didn't know what to say or do, I just looked at her for a while. I should've said something.

Until she started crying again and said, "I'm sorry," time after time. I lifted my hands to her face and wiped her eyes with my thumbs then just held her face between my hands. She went silent, waiting.

This woman, the woman that I loved more than anything was scared that I would resent her for carrying my child. Gods. I kissed her forehead, her eyes, her temples, her cheeks, her jaw, her neck, her lips. I kissed her to show her that this didn't change anything, especially not what I felt for her. Her muscles relaxed and I could sense her relief.