Throne of Glass & A Court of Thorns and Roses: Two Worlds Collide

Chapter 37-Feyre

I didn't get a second of sleep last night with the nerves coiling in my stomach. It was just Lucien, I reminded myself. Lucien, the High Lord of the Spring court. I tried thinking of what to say, what to convince him that we're trustworthy, but I could think of nothing. Lucien was practically brainwashed by Tamlin to think the Night Court was evil.

I was pacing the length of my room. Rhysand was not coming with me because it might bring more chaos than good, so here I was waiting for him to wake up so I would say good bye. He hasn't been sleeping very well lately, and I know this because it is the same with me. Some nights we just lie awake, talking about random, trivial things to get our mind off all this. Some nights, we're silent, clutching each other because it was the only comfort we could find. I couldn't find it in my heart to wake him up just to tell him goodbye.

Slowly, he sat up in bed, momentarily at peace. Then, an invisible burden was set on his shoulders and he was on alert again.

"Feyre?" he asked, his voice still thick with sleep.

"I was waiting for you to wake up. It's time for me to go," I said. He nodded slowly, but wouldn't take his eyes off of me. I went to sit next to him on the bed.

"I know this will be hard for you, going back there. If at any moment you feel uncomfortable, just winnow out of there," he said. I didn't tell him that this whole situation was making me uncomfortable, but I felt like he already knew, but I managed a small nod.

"I'll miss you," he whispered, his violet eyes boring into my own.

"I'll only be gone a few hours," I said. I didn't want this to be a good-bye.

"I know," he whispered and he gave me a slow kiss. I leaned into it, but broke away when I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop after another second.

"I love you," I breathed.

'And I you," he whispered back, his cheeks flushed.

I walked out into the living room to say goodbye to those who were awake. Everyone was gathered conversing about plans and strategies. Everyone, but Amren. I made a mental note to go and check on her once we came back. Knowing her, she probably hadn't slept at all, still translating the Book.

When I stepped into the room, all heads swiveled to me. I could tell most of what happens at the battle, relies on how my meeting with Lucien went. I saw it in each of their eyes, they trusted me to come back victorious, and I wouldn't let them down.

"Good luck," Aelin was the first to speak. I got a chorus of 'good luck's' and 'come back safe's' from the group.

"Turn on that charm, turn off your sarcasm, and you'll do just fine," Cassian piped up just as I was about to leave. I rolled my eyes and winnowed to the Spring Court.

I appeared in the forest, where I was planning. I thought winnowing right to Lucien's rooms might raise some alarms. I took a deep breath and walked until I reached the front gates. It was just as I remembered it, but different. The palace itself was the same, but the people milling around it were in complete, synchronized chaos. The fact that no one seemed to notice me as I stood a hair away from the gates told me enough about the stress the guards were in. I almost felt bad for them. Almost.

I opened the gates, with nothing more than my mind as I casually strolled up to the palace. That seemed to get everyone's attention. For a few moments, it was just hundreds of shocked faces staring at mine, and I didn't know where to look. It was the calm before the storm. Everything went downhill from there. As one, everyone came barreling towards me, badgering me with questions, accusing me of killing Tamlin. They called me liar, traitor, and just about every filthy word they could imagine. I mentally shielded myself, forming a bubble around myself of air so that nobody could touch me.

"Enough!" a disembodied voice bellowed behind me. Immediately everyone backed off and wisely shut their mouths. I turned toward the sound and found Lucien standing a few feet behind me. He looked worse for the wear, his hair hanging down limply from his head, his eyes sunken and void of that sharp spark.

"Hello, Lucien. I've come to speak to you... as High Lady of the Night court," a collective gasp came from the fae among us. Lucien stepped back a step, confusion written across his features. Then he straightened up and wordlessly motioned for me to follow. Instead of heading into the palace, we trudged into the woods, where curious ears won't find us. I took this time to look him over, I hadn't seen him since the night Aelin came to rescue me. A small part of me never wants to forgive Lucien for everything that happened, but another small part of me feels guilty for him. And also...pity. I pitied him for everything. That Tamlin was his High Lord, that he was too scared to stand up for himself. That he had to take on his responisbility.

"High Lady of the Night Court?" was the first thing Lucien asked once we were a safe distance away.

If we were going to do this, I had to tell him the truth, but first, "I'm assuming you took over Tamlin's position?"

He nodded. "Prythian is in chaos. The spring court is even worse. Tamlin had no heir, and I was second to him. The people barely let me take his position. Their only comfort was that I am a High Lord's son, so they rather it be me, or no one else. I felt a new power come to me after what happened in the Library that day"

"Lucien, I'm sorry about my part in all of this, but you have to understand-"

He held up a hand, "Feyre, of course I understand. You think I didn't see what he was doing to you? I tried to speak up to him, but I was a coward. When you came back with us, I knew something wasn't right. I know what the mating bond is like, and I know that whatever happened at the King's castle, it was nothing like it seemed," he spat out the King like it was hard for him to say, and I took that as a good thing.

"If I didn't do what I did, everyone I loved would've died. The night before everything happened, I married Rhysand. He made me High Lady of the Night court," I explained.

"Why are you here, Feyre?" he asked exhaustion lacing his tone.

"I want to know if you'll fight with us, against the King. Or you don't even half to do that, just tell me you're not still allies with him. The spring court always had ties with him, right? Maybe you could break those ties, please Lucien," I didn't care if I was close to begging. This had to be done.

Lucien sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's not that easy, Feyre-"

"It is that easy! He's going to take over Prythian and the mortal lands. Tell me, if Elain was still living in mortal lands, would you not do anything to save her? Because that's what I'm doing now," I knew it was bad of me to bring Elain into this, but it was the only weakness he had.

He sucked in a sharp breath, "where is she?" he breathed out. I could see the pain in his eyes. I could see what it did to him to be away from his mate.

"You think about her all the time, don't you? You're going out of your mind by being apart from her. I know, i know what you're going through Lucien. If you help us... if you help us I'll consider letting her see you," once again, I knew what I was doing, I knew I was being cruel, but for the Night Court, for Prythian, for the whole world, I would do this.

He was silent for a moment, so silent, I was sure he was holding his breath. "Tell me where she is," he breathed out.

"I can't do that," I said to him. I didn't tell him that she wasn't speaking to me, or that noone knew how she was doing. That'd only make this worse.

He closed his eyes and let out a frustrated noise, combing his fingers through his hair. "Fine," he said it so softly I had to ask him to repeat it just to make sure I didn't get anything wrong.

"I can't cut off ties with him, not completely, but we can be your eyes and ears. That'll be the most I can do without dooming the Spring Court," he said.

I breathed out a sigh of relief and said, "thank you, Lucien. If you need any help, I'll be here for you," and with that I winnowed away back to the Night Court.