The Bee's Knees

Bardo -the inbetween

Becca woke up with a jolt from a dream about standing alone by a graveside, watching as the coffins of Simon and Price were slowly lowered into the ground. It took her a few short breaths to realise that it had only been a dream and she could still feel her face against Simon's warm chest, his arm still round her shoulder. 

She lay in the gloom just listening to Simon's regular, steady heartbeat, letting the deep sound soothe her nerves. Glancing up, she watched his face as he slept and listening to the soft breaths exhaled through his nostrils. He's alive, he's here, she reminded herself. 

Although he looked completely at peace in his slumber, she could see his eyes moving rapidly under the lids as though he was dreaming. Becca felt conflicted as she could feel the deep pain in her chest for the trauma he had endured and his painful injuries, but she was so happy and relieved that he was still alive and with her. 

She remembered that Price hadn't been so fortunate, prompting a wave of guilt for feeling happy. Fresh tears of grief came for the loss of Price, who'd always been so kind to her. She couldn't imagine what Simon was going through to have walked away from such a disastrous mission. 

Becca cried silent tears, trying not to disturb the sleeping man. With so much that had happened over the past week, the realisation sunk in that everything was on hold, awaiting how Simon would come out of this tragedy. Feeling the need to move, she decide to leave him to sleep and got up to make coffee and some breakfast.

It was a couple of hours later, when Simon got up and groggily walked through to sit with Becca at the table. Simon seemed to barely register that she was there and was silent drinking his tea. Becca struggled to imagine the turmoil his mind was going through after such a tragic mission and the loss of Price. She knew he'd already been through so much in his life, and now to lose his friend and Captain.

Feeling compelled to say something, Becca whispered sadly "I'm sorry about Captain Price. I didn't know him as well as you, but he was a great man. I really liked him".

Simon stayed silent and simply nodded.

"I don't know what you're going though, but I'm here if you need to talk Simon. You don't have to do this alone" Becca said softly.

"Not much to say" Simon responded bluntly before getting up and heading to the bathroom. Becca didn't push it. She knew Simon needed time and space, so that's what she would give him.

Over the next week, they had a simple routine. They would get up and have breakfast together, before they repeated the painful process of cleaning and redressing Simon's burns. Becca was at least pleased to see that there was no sign of any infection and that small patches of new pink skin were slowly starting to show under the damaged skin.

Throughout the days, Simon rested and went out for short walks, or simply sat on the porch for hours in his own thoughts. Becca supplied him with drinks through the day and cooked for them both, glad that he was at least eating and functioning. He spoke very little except for necessities and Becca didn't push for him to talk. She would wait patiently and be here for him if he needed her.

Becca continued with work around the cottage and garden whilst always keeping a watchful eye on him. In the evenings, if Simon wasn't resting on the sofa, he would sit at the table cleaning his side arm and knives. Becca could see that the well practised repetition seemed to provide some sort of comfort for the man as he expertly dissasembled and cleaned each part before reassembling them.

Each night, she would check his dressings before helping him with his night clothes. When he was finally settled in bed with a cuppa, he would ask her to stay. Becca agreed without question, knowing that she was at least able to provide some comfort for him and for herself with this simple act.