Pleasures and Pain ✔️

Chapter 24 - I wouldn't

Rachel ☝🏻

Carter Woodowrds

I took another bottle of alcohol form the rack and took a large amount of it in the glass. I started drinking without adding any water. I need the drink to be strong.

This is the only thing that keeps me sane right now.

All the emotions of rage, anger, hurt, betrayal and loneliness has equipped my heart right now.

I am not gonna blame Lily for whatever happened because there's only one person and that's my mom.

I totally understand that she is hurt with my mother's words.

Truly, I failed. I failed in keeping my promise to her. I promised to always protect her from anything bad but I couldn't.

I walked towards the mirror which Lily used to sew in and do her hair and makeup.

The person standing in front of me is nothing what her was 2 days ago. I had bags under my eyes and my eyes were a little red by the crying I did last night.

I have no shame in admitting I miss her. Wait, who wouldn't? My wife just signed our divorce papers because of I and my mom's fault.

I didn't get any sleep last night knowing I don't have Lily in my arms.

I don't know where she is? Who is with her? Where is she staying? How is she? Is she crying? Is she writing something in her books? Or does she hate me for not keeping my promise? These questions haunted me the whole night.

I had sleep for few hours because the effect of the alcohol kicked in.

I opened Lily's closet where she left the paper, her letter and her wedding ring. It was in the same box I bought it in.

The only thing she took with her which was given by me is her promise ring. The one which had small flowers embedded on it.

A soft knock was heard on the door.

"I don't want to see anyone." I said walking out of Lily's closet.

I sat on the bed staring on my phone's wallpaper. It was a picture of Lily smiling looking at the clouds. I secretly took this picture back in Santorini while we were on our honeymoon. Ever since then it's my phone wallpaper. I miss her smile like crazy.

"Carter please." Came Rachel's voice.

"What do you want?" I shouted and but we didn't answer.

I huffed and opened the door to see her standing there in a white top and blue denim jeans.

"What?" I asked and she guested the servant to come in.

The maid kept a tray of lunch on the coffee table.

"I don't want to eat. Take it away." I semi-shouted on the maid.

"It's fine. Leave it here." Rachel said and the maid started walking out of the room.

"I SAID TAKE IT AWAY." I shouted and she flinched but Rachel stood there unaffected.

"Go." Rachel said keeping a hand on the maid's shoulder. She nodded trembling and quickly exited the room.

"I don't want to eat." I told Rachel but she acted as if she didn't heard me.

She sat on the couch and pulled me to sit beside her.

She took the sesame chicken rice in the plate and hand it to me.

I took the plate but didn't eat. I don't want to eat anything but this stubborn woman doesn't understand.

She filled a glass of water for me and kept it beside my plate on the table.

"You need to eat. You haven't had anything since yesterday." She said and gestured towards the plate.

"Rachel I'm not going to eat."

"Says who?" She said cocking an eyebrow.

"I." I stated controlling my anger.

"I didn't heard you." She said keeping a hand on her ear.

"Rachel thank you for this but-" I couldn't finding my sentence since she literally shoved a spoon full of the rice on my mouth.

"Chew." She said with a mean look on her face.

"I don't take orders from you." I said but still chewed on on the rice. It was tasty and I was hungry.

"Good. Now will you help yourself or I have to feed you?" She said with a small smile.

I shook my head taking the plate from her hands.

"Carter, I'm sorry I can't marry you. Even if you agree to marry me."

I was about to say something but she stopped me.

"I couldn't help but admire Lily very much when she was here. I knew you were married through the magazines and tv shows but they never mentioned how happy you are with Lily. When I saw you two so much in love I couldn't help but feel bad for Lily. I agree that Aunt Linda shouldn't treat her the way she does and believe me, I truly tried my best and make her behave soft and good towards Lily but the problem is she loves you way too much. Look, honestly the thing is I don't love you and neither do you love me. I can't be in a lifeless marriage." She said and her eyes displayed guilt.

"Thank you for understanding, Rachel." I said giving her a small smile.

"If you don't mind me asking, why is mom so bent on getting you married to me? I mean you are a great girl. You sitting here and saying what you just did, proves what a beautiful person you are by heart. But why?" I said.

"I found Aunt one day at a restaurant. She used to work as a waitress there. At that time she didn't had any family and considering she was way too ill to work, I offered her a place to stay and helped her recover her health. When she came to know about your whereabouts and how um... rich you are, she promised me that she will marry me to you. I it wasn't for her convincing power I wouldn't have even come her because I don't want a relationship which is just for money. I initially decided to try and make you reject me but when I saw you are already married I was relived. Aunt wasn't ready to back down and so she started ill-talking with Lily. She was sure she's using you for your money. So she did what she did. You know the rest."

"Yeah, I know the rest."

I finished eating and she handed me a glass of water.

I thanked her. And she went out of the room taking the plates and glasses with her.

One thing is for sure. Even if someday Lily might forgive my mother, I wouldn't.