Irrational Love (mxm)

XXV

Lucifer

"Your dick does more damage than a freakin' bomb!" Raziel groaned. "I can hardly feel my legs, much less my bottom!"

I chuckled, leaning against the headframe, staring down at him, his blue eyes burning in pain. "Now, now, you're not the only one in pain, dear. I can't feel my dick!" I cried. He rolled his eyes. I waggled my eyebrows. "Would you like to kiss it better?"

He glared at me, hitting me in the face with one of our king-sized pillows. "Ugh, not even the salve helped! I won't walk for at least a week!" I eyed the salve on the nightstand. I had called Abbadon for help. Raziel's normally pale ass was bruised and red, and his hole was irritated. 

Abbadon was flustered, going on and on about how he sometimes had to use it on Lucien. It was a gross conversation, considering that Lucien was my son. I had kicked him in the thigh to shut the man up, before stealing the salve and gently massaged it onto Raziel's hole. 

I had high hopes for the cream, alas, it didn't work. His pain was far more severe than a simple cream could handle. 

Neither of us could put on our pants, leaving us incapable of running our kingdom. Instead, I put Judas in charge, to ensure that in our bedroom vacation, everything ran smoothly, without a hitch. 

"What do you suppose we do now?" Raziel asked, rolling gently onto his side to see me better. 

I shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm quite famished."

He hummed in response. "I could go for something, yeah. Something...fancy." He winked. "You should get us a charcuterie of with some cheese and figs." I chuckled and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. 

"Whatever you want. Take a nap, dear. This may take a while."

I petted his head until he was putty in my hands, dead asleep. 

"Kali," I summoned. The man popped up, in his usual jewel green, traditional Sherwani, with Forras by his side, as usual, in an ice blue muscle tank and dark gray sweatpants. "What do you want, Sire?" 

"I need you to go to Italy and collect the finest figs, meats, and cheese. Any that you believe would go together. Raziel's having cravings."

Kali's mouth quirked into a smirk. "Sounds like we have another little evil prince or princess on the way?" 

I paled. 

"Oh, shit!" 

I rolled Raziel onto his back, as he snored away, gently pressing my hand against his pale, flat stomach, searching for life. 

Thump, thump, thump.

I jumped in surprise. "He's a man! He can't have kids! At least, not like this!" I cried. 

Kali leaned against the wall, as Forras stretched out on the floor. "Now, now, even you know that all angels are intersex. He has a dick, and a womb, therefore, the possibility of children is very, very, real."

I gulped, deep in my throat. 

"I'm...going to be...a dad again?" Kali nodded. "Possibly." 

"Wow," I whispered. 

"I think Parma ham, Salami, Manchego cheese, and figs would fix his cravings," Forras whispered. "I could kill for a traditional Italian pizza, what about you, sir?" 

Kali hummed in agreement. "We'll be back in thirty minutes. In the meantime, good luck with the baby talk with your angel."

Kali winked, as he and Forras disappeared as fast as they appeared.

You should be happy, Lucifer. The voice that I haven't heard in a long time hissed. My eyes widened in surprise. The voice that made me violent, defiant...the voice that caused my falling out with God, and Michael taking me down, pushing me into my haven of fire and death. 

Children are veeery good, Lucifer. Expand the kingdom. Teach your children how to conquer to fight. Show the angel bastards that you're better. Use our little whore to prove a point. You could take over together, Lucifer. It laughed. Imagine, an avenging angel with black wings, sword in hand, blond hair swirling in the stormy winds, eyes ablaze with promises of death. You could have Earth. Enslave humans. Take Heaven, murder the angels. They aren't your brothers, nor allies. Rip the wings from their bodies, spill their golden blood upon their perfect, clean clouds. Teach them to fuck with you. Then fuck our whore in front of them, let them know how their brother screams in pleasure. Show them the slut you've turned him in. Show them who the true God is.

I could feel it's eyes swirl, as its fangs lengthened. 

"Baby, what's wrong?"

That isn't me!  I screamed as Raziel caressed its cheek.

"You look scary, did something happen."

I watched in terror as it's claws wrapped around Raziel's wrist. 

"Darling, what do you mean, I'm perfectly fine." It purred kissing Raziel's hand. "Your platter should be here soon. We should have a little talk first."